Priest propositions Officers after being arrested for DUI.

Father Ignatius Kury of Brimfield Township, Ohio just can’t get a break. Realizing he was waaay too drunk to drive, the good Father pulled over to the side of the road and climbed into the back of the car to catch a few winks. But some busybody just had to call the cops and report the car on the side of the road and the cops just had to come out and see what was up only to find the innocent priest dozing away. They woke him up and used a breathalyzer on him and he ended up being drop dead drunk so the cops arrested him and took him downtown.

And that’s when things went from bad to worse:

Police rolled a video tape of the incident to protect themselves and use it as evidence in court.

“Because of the fact that one of my officers walked by the holding cell and he was exposing himself,” said Chief Blough.

Kury is heard on the tape saying, “I’ll give you a sermon on the mount.”

According to Chief Blough, the priest’s rant lasted over 20 minutes during which he threatened and propositioned officers.

Kury is heard saying, “I’ll pay you whatever you want. What do you want? Want me to give you a [expletive]? Is that what you want ?” “Do you want me to be a sexual slave?

Eventually, Kury was released on bond.

Now how would a nice Catholic boy like Father Kury know how to be a sexual slave? Sounds like there’s been some interesting counseling sessions at that church. Perhaps in the future the good father would be wise to cut back on the sacramental wine. Talk about being drunk on the blood of Jesus, eh?

New Orleans Pastor who rails against “Decadence Fest” found masturbating in a park.

Seems 53-year-old Pastor Grant Storms can’t follow his own preachings. Known for ranting against behaviors and festivities he considers sinful, the horny Pastor was arrested and charged with obscenity after two women called the police on him for masturbating in a public park:

Storms has been a primary voice of opposition to “Decadence Fest,” an event that draws tens of thousands of gays and lesbians to the city for a weekend-long party in the Quarter.

Police say two women told park workers they saw Storms masturbating inside a van in the park near the carousel.

Sheriff spokesman Sgt. Larry Dyess told WWL First News that Storms origianlly told responding officers that he was tired from cutting grass and was urinating into a bottle inside of his van.

However, Dyess says that in further interviews with detectives, Storms admitted to masturbating inside the van.

There was no word if the good Pastor was using the children at the nearby carousel as… inspiration, but you’d think he’d have the good sense to wait till he got home and look up some porn on the Internet like most people do. It’s not that I begrudge him taking care of a common human drive, but there’s an appropriate time and place if you don’t want to be judged to be a pervy hypocrite.

At the very least, Pastor Storms now becomes one more example of how being religious doesn’t make you any more moral than anyone else.