OH HOLY HELL! The KNEES! The KNEES are EVERYWHERE!!!

An example of the threat to man's holiness! Just look at it! Being all sexy and shit! Who wouldn't think impure thoughts with that being shoved in their face by those wicked vixens!

An example of the threat to man’s holiness! Just look at it! Being all sexy and shit! Who wouldn’t think impure thoughts with that being shoved in their face by those wicked vixens! Where’s my fainting couch?!?

Pity poor Pastor Martyn Ballestero for he is traumatized on a regular basis. The source of his torture is the scandalous sight of naked knees at church where they tempt the menfolk from the path of righteousness.

They’re Everywhere!! | The Ballestero Blog

They never used to be seen in Pentecostal Churches, but they are now. If they were ever seen in church in the old days, an embarrassed apology was made. But not any more!

Now, they come to many church and do not mind being obvious about showing up. They seem to enjoy the attention they attract, too.

Some of the time they come to church and no one notices them when they walk in, after they finally sit down. Then it’s like, they say Boo! and get your attention. They sure know how to catch folks off guard.

Damn those sneaky knees with their seductive caps baring it all in such a wanton display of lust! And all that noise making with the constant “boo”ing that interrupts my sermons and gives me awkward boners that make the baby Jesus cry!

I remember them never being seen in church anywhere years ago. But now, they’ve evidently got religion and so they come to almost every service.

In the old days, someone would try to help them hide from if they came, and make sure they stayed out of sight, but no effort is being made anymore. They seem to enjoy being seen in church. More and more of the folks are becoming comfortable around them.

[…] It used to be a problem when they showed up anywhere, especially church. But now, they’ve even come to church with some preacher’s wives and daughters. Go figure.

Clearly the solution to this problem is to insist that people leave their knees at home! Or, better yet, people should never acquire knees in the first place. All they ever do is spread temptation everywhere they go. Oh why can’t we go back to Victorian times when knees — and women —  knew their proper place?!?

It’s good to know there are holy men out there who are standing up against the encroaching scourge of uncovered knees. Why just imagine what would happen if we let this slide? Next you know folks will be wearing shirts with sleeves that stop above the elbow! That’s just crazy!