Disney yanks pre-teen underwear with the message “Dive In” printed on them.

Sometimes in the mad and heady rush of marketing the shit out of a popular bit of intellectual property the folks at Disney tend to overlook how something might come across as, shall we say, a tad inappropriate. Disney has a big hit with the High School Musical movies and they’re marketing the hell out of them wherever they can. One item they should’ve thought twice about was panties for ‘tween girls that were themed after a scene in High School Musical 2 where the two main characters sing about how they love each other while dancing in and around a swimming pool. The panties, in keeping with the theme, had the words “Dive In” printed on them.

Needless to say, this hasn’t sat well with some parents:

“My daughter and I thought it was rather inappropriate for a 7 year old to be wearing them. ‘Dive In’ was written across them,” Ralf said. “Well, without being rude, we thought it was rather suggestive.”

“I think it is inappropriate because you just never know who could be out and about and see that and just think it was a bit too enticing for a young child to be wearing,” she said. “I would like to see all the products removed from the shelves.”

Well you’ve gotten your wish. Disney has announced they’re yanking down their panties:

“Unfortunately, an oversight was made and the text on the underwear was used out context,” Disney said in a statement. “This product will not be part of any forthcoming collections and the remaining product has been removed from shelves.”

You can see the panties in the pic to the left (click to embiggen) and, honestly, it’s not as bad as it sounds in the news stories. I expected the words to be printed in ALL CAPS using big block letters and bright primary colors, but it’s actually something you’d have to be looking at closely to really notice. Still there’s no point in tempting fate I suppose, though if Disney ever wants to start marketing to a more mature crowd I think they’d have another hit on their hands in the novelty underwear department.

Santa’s helper pole dances during Christmas boat parade. Some folks freak out.

You know you’ve missed a good parade when the news article about it opens up with the following:

Spectators at Saturday’s Boot Key Harbor Lighted Boat Parade in Marathon got an unexpected – and by some, unwanted – display from one of the participating vessels, Neptune’s Love Palace.

Allowing a float sponsored by an organization with the name “Neptune’s Love Palace” is bound to end up pissing someone off and this case is no exception.

A 24-year-old woman aboard the 55-foot cruiser used its mast to perform what onlooker Tami Wile said was basically “a pole dance” as it slowed to be judged by a panel at the Dockside Lounge on Sombrero Boulevard. Wile was upset because several children were on hand watching the annual holiday event.

“This woman is all bent over, totally naked and doing a dance you see in Key West. It was like Fantasy Fest come to Marathon,” Wile, a teacher at Stanley Switlik Elementary School, said. “It was one of the most vulgar things I’ve ever seen.”

As it turns out she wasn’t actually “totally naked,” but rather was wearing a white body stocking. Still there’s no argument that the dance was suggestive and both the owner and the dancer are willing to apologize for any offense they may have caused:

“Her intent wasn’t to do anything vulgar; we didn’t mean to offend anyone. If there is someone I need to apologize to, I will,” Cull said. “We were just trying to support the boat parade and Marathon.”

“I didn’t even realize about the children, but I didn’t think my clothes were like that or I would have never done it. Skeeter asked me to be his Christmas angel and that’s what I did,” the woman, who did not reveal her name, said. “If anybody got upset, we apologize. We were just trying to have fun.”

At this time of year the natural reaction is to forgive, just as Jesus would if he had been present, but folks here have decided to overreact instead:

Marathon resident Glen Martin said he plans to pursue charges against the woman.

“What she did was a felony. This is the birth of Christ we’re celebrating here and you don’t do that when children are watching,” Martin said. He contacted City Manager Mike Puto about the incident.

A felony? He’s got to be fucking kidding, right? Since when is it a felony to dance suggestively in a Christmas parade? I somehow managed to miss that law being passed. Tacky, maybe, inappropriate, perhaps, but a felony?! I do not think that word means what Mr. Martin thinks it means.

Puto told the Keynoter he would investigate at his earliest convenience.

“I will look into it to find out exactly what happened and find out what recourse, if any, we have,” Puto said. “We have to make sure a thing like this doesn’t happen.”

Which means they’ll probably find there’s not a god damned thing they can do about it so they’ll work to pass some stupid ordinance or law to try and prevent it from happening again that’ll end up having unintended consequences sometime later. Your tax dollars at work.

Com’on folks, they said they were sorry. Isn’t that enough?