Giants’ fans show their loyalty to Barry Bonds

Did anyone catch the game last night between the Giants and the Rockies at Pac Bell SBC park (oh, bollocks) AT&T Park? Well, it was quite a show in the bottom of the ninth inning. It all started when Barry started arguing with the Umpire over a strike 2 which Barry (and I, too) thought clearly was not a strike. Barry did not stop, however, and he wound up getting ejected from the game all together.

It didn’t end there, though. Many fans (probably drunk) started to hurl garbage all over the field, and the Rockies had to come off the field until the grounds crew got things cleaned up.

In a rare display of frustration, there were several hundred other unprofessional people at AT&T Park shortly after Bonds was thrown out, with unruly fans throwing an assortment of paper and plastic and miscellaneous stuff onto the outfield grass, causing an 11-minute delay.

At the end of the game, after the Giants lost, the umpire had to be escorted off the field with a security guard. I’m very dissapointed in my fellow Giants fans. I guess it shows how fiercely loyal they are to Barry even after all the steroid allegations.

This is just to say

Just some gourmet food for thought that I’ve been cooking in my head lately:

  • The Royal Family is here in the Bay Area this weekend, but for some reason I just don’t care
  • Catholics should be against Alito, because of his stance against Separation of Church and State. Catholics have had their history of being at both ends of the persecution stick, and should be working for equal rights for everyone
  • The “Quick Save” function in ExpressionEngine is anything but quick
  • I really love The 43 Folders Podcast. Merlin Mann gives great tips in a hilarious manner. I love that guy.
  • Whoever gets the reference in this entry’s title first gets a free and/or Gmail invite
  • Is stealing spilled coffee beans in Supermarkets shoplifting?


What if…

The books of The Bible started off the same way the books of Harry Potter did? Most people at the time believed it to just fables and mystery, but some dilusional people started taking it seriously?

If you have anymore “What if” questions, feel free to post them here. invite contest

Just a little note that if anyone here wants a free kickass blog, I’m holding a contest over at my blog. Follow the instructions and YOU could have an invite in your hands. (Sorry, I only have 1 for now).

[Editor’s Note: It appears that the folks at WordPress are going up against the folks at Six Apart’s TypePad by offering a hosted blogging service. The difference being, other than than the blogging package, that is free, but you have to get an invite from someone to sign up ala Gmail. How the hell Matt and Co. are going to make money off of free WordPress hosting remains to be seen, but it’s always good to see some competition out there.]

Scenes from an American Classroom

I wonder what biology classrooms would be like if Intelligent Design were taught alongside evolution…

TEACHER: Today is the first day of our new curriculum exposing people to different schools of thought and ideas. Let’s begin! Look at this picture of the human heart. It is very complex and serves its purpose as the main organ of the human body.

STUDENT: How does the heart pump blood?

TEACHER: It’s very complicated. It may have been designed.

STUDENT: I thought it evolved that way.

TEACHER: Some people think that it did. Others think it was designed. Both ideas are equally valid. Moving on, let’s examine other parts of the human body. The human eye is very complex. Some people say that it evolved that way for its specific purpose. Others think it was designed by a higher power.

STUDENT: Was that higher power God?

TEACHER: (pauses)…maybe…

I’ll stop right there. This is absurd!!

An Ethical Question

Say, for example, you see a huge mosquito on the wall, next to a crucifix. Should you kill the mosquito with the crucifix if there’s nothing else available? What if the mosquito has West Nile Virus? What if the cross breaks? By killing the bug, you could potentially save someone’s life.

What do you think?

(In case you’re wondering where this all came from, it happened today at school.)

The Five Pillars of Gayism

[To be approved by Our Gracious and Holy Pope Brock the First in the next step of making Gayism a true religion]

  1. Everyone is gay inside, some are less gay than others
  2. At least once in your life, you must make a pilgrimage to San Francisco
  3. At least once you must decorate someone’s house
  4. You should listen to popular gay music, like All the Girls Love Alice and Alladin Sane
  5. We are all children of Adam and Steve, always remember that!

Pentagon to Host 9/11 Propoganda March

Oh for the love of The Flying Spaghetti Monster…

WASHINGTON – The Pentagon will hold a massive march and country music concert to mark the fourth anniversary of 9/11, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said in an unusual announcement tucked into an Iraq war briefing yesterday.

“This year the Department of Defense will initiate an America Supports You Freedom Walk,” Rumsfeld said, adding that the march would remind people of “the sacrifices of this generation and of each previous generation.”

The march will start at the Pentagon, where nearly 200 people died on 9/11, and end at the National Mall with a show by country star Clint Black.

Word of the event startled some observers. “I’ve never heard of such a thing,” said John Pike, who has been a defense analyst in Washington for 25 years and runs

The news also reignited debate and anger over linking Sept. 11 with the war in Iraq.

“That piece of it is disturbing since we all know now there was no connection,” said Paul Rieckhoff, an Iraq veteran who heads Operation Truth, an anti-administration military booster.

Rieckhoff suggested the event was an ill-conceived publicity stunt. “I think it’s clear that their public opinion polls are in the toilet,” he said.

Rumsfeld’s walk had some relatives of 9/11 victims fuming.

“How about telling Mr. Rumsfeld to leave the memories of Sept. 11 victims to the families?” said Monica Gabrielle, who lost her husband in the attacks.

Administration supporters insisted Rumsfeld was right to link Iraq and 9/11, and hold the rally. (Ed: well, duh!)

“We are at war,” said Rep. Pete King (R-L.I.). “It’s essential that we support our troops.” (Ed: ‘cuz you’re with us or against us!)

Emphasis mine. I think people will realise this war was a sham and supporting the troops is wrong when the 64-bit UNIX Epoch expires (292 billion years, if you’re not a geek). This current Iraq War is a guerilla war, insurgents against US troops, terrorists against terrorists.


Titles of Songs/Albums that, if released in the South, would be burned by Christians

Note: I originally submitted this to McSweeney’s Lists, but they said ” I think it’s pretty good, but I think we’re going to pass, for the sake of our southern brethren.”. So I’ll publish it here instead.

-“Whiskey is my lord, Bourbon is my Saviour” [an actual song I wrote, see the lyrics]
-“Jesus was a Democrat”
-“I’m bigger than Jesus but smaller than your heart”
-“Evolution #9”

Feel free to add your own.

Christian Rock = $$$?

I think there is serious money to be made in the Christian rock Genre. I mean, I suck at writing lyrics but I possess Eltonian abilities to write music in a matter of minutes. It took me 5-8 minutes to write the lyrics to this song (which needs a title, by the way) and about another 10-15 to write the music.

I’ve never written any Christian music before, but I especially like the following lines. You’ll never guess to whom they allude…

When I die he’ll come to meet me
In a big black limousine
With JC on his licence plate
Until then I can only dream…

So how about it? Warbi, Iolite, Brock and I could form a band and call ourselves the Holy Grail. After all, Christian music sells more than classical music and jazz combined, so we’d probably be rich in no time. smile