Saturday Morning Confusion!

Here we are with our usual Saturday Morning Confusion about the world at large, and people in particular.

This week the decision on who to nominate for “Asshole of the Week!” did little to help the situation, since it seems everybody and his brother was eager to claim the title.

(By the way, “Everybody and his Brother,” are in no way related to Buddy Whats’is Name and the Udder Fellers!”)

I sorted through a long list of candidates and came up with a few possible suspects that were certainly deserving of the title.

The first of these lucky people is Harry Nibourg and his mis-guided co-horts who helped put together the Canadian Big Valley Creation Science Museum out in Western Canada, where a lot of these idiots live.

He says they hope it will help convince skeptics that their belief in a literal interpretation of the Bible—complete with massive flood, dinosaurs walking the earth side-by-side with humans and a seven-day plan only 6,000 years ago to get it all started—is based on scientific fact rather than blind faith.

(Goes to show we don’t need no stinkin’ American museum to confuse everyone, we can do it quite well on our own!)

“Evolution is not a science—please, please don’t call it a science,” Nibourg said as he walked through the one-room museum he has spent years and hundreds of thousands of dollars bringing into existence.

(This alone is enough to have this asshole nominated and then committed!)

Next are the U.S. Republicans in general for suggesting that nuclear weapons should not be ruled out in our disagreement with Iran.

A second-tier candidate, California Rep. Duncan Hunter, was more direct, saying the United States reserved the right to dissuade Iran militarily in any manner it chose.

“I would authorize the use of tactical nuclear weapons if there was no other way to preempt those particular centrifuges!”

“You shouldn’t take any options off the table,” said the leader in the Republican pack, former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, when asked whether a tactical nuclear strike might be necessary.

The only reason they weren’t automatic winners, hands down, of “Assholes of the week” was the fact that I believe this was only political rhetoric, and in no way an actual rational proposal. (Although you never know!)

Our next candidate was Roy Pearson, a District of Columbia administrative law judge, who first sued Custom Cleaners over a pair of pants that went missing two years ago.

He was seeking about $65 million under the D.C. consumer protection act and almost $2 million in common law claims. Through the goodness of his heart he has reduced the claim to $54 million!

He is now focusing his claims on signs in the shop -that have since been removed- that Jin Nam Chung, Soo Chung and Ki Chung committed fraud and misled consumers with signs that claimed “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service.”

This is a perfect example of a need for a change in the U.S. libel laws.

If you initiate a lawsuit and lose, you should pay the other sides legal bills. This would reduce frivolous litigation immediately.

Yes, there are lots of candidates for this prestigious award of “Asshole of the week” and after much deliberation I had to give the prize to the Vermont State Police Force and State Police Sgt. Todd Protzman.

Displaying the Hubris that is so prevalent amongst law enforcement officials, they charged and arrested a woman for staring at, and making faces at, a police dog!!!

Prosecuting a woman for `staring’ at a police dog is absurd,” said her lawyer.

“People are allowed to make faces at police dogs and officers to express their disapproval.

It’s constitutional expression,” said public defender Kelly Green, who represented Jayna Hutchinson.

Hutchinson, 33, of Lebanon, N.H., was charged with cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest after a July 31 incident in West Fairlee in which police were called to a market to investigate a report of a brawl.

They were approached by Hutchinson, who told one officer she had been assaulted the day before by one of the men involved.

She asked Vermont State Police Sgt. Todd Protzman to take her statement but he refused, telling her she smelled like alcohol and was drunk but that he would take her statement at another time.

After a heated exchange, she approached Protzman’s cruiser, where his dog Max was waiting, putting her face within inches of the window and “staring at him in a taunting/harassing manner,” Protzman wrote in an affidavit.

“While the defendant taunted my canine, Max was focused on the defendant and the perceived threat she presented to him,” the affidavit said. “He was no longer focused on me and the other officers at the scene.”

Officers arrested Hutchinson, adding the resisting arrest charge because she pulled her arms and upper body away during the arrest.

She registered 0.21 percent blood-alcohol content on a breath test, more than twice the legal limit for drivers in Vermont. (except she wasn’t driving!)

On Tuesday, two days before Hutchinson was to go to trial, Orange County State’s Attorney Will Porter decided to drop the charges, after viewing a videotape of the incident over the weekend.

“I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog’s behavior,” Porter said. “Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can’t do that.”

Without the cruelty charge, jurors would be unlikely to convict her on the resisting arrest, Porter said.

So, to Sgt. Todd Protzman and the cops in Orange Country N.H. goes our coveted Asshole of the Week trophy!!!!

Your “hush, hush, and on the Q.T.” scribe;
Allan W Janssen

He said WHAT?

There were a bunch of Indians here in Ontario who, about a dozen years ago, occupied land they claimed was theirs.

One thing led to another and the end result was that one of the unarmed natives got shot to death, and that’s why the cops have been hesitant to uphold the law as far as illegal Indian Land Claims are concerned.

They just finished the inquest into the death this week, and in reporting on it, the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. had a piece of tape in which the Premier of Ontario (He’s the big shot politician) said; “I want the fucking Indians off that land!”

Now since it was a public comment by the premier, the C.B.C. felt this was a good excuse to get the word “fuck” on the air and that’s about all we have been hearing on the radio for the last two days. “I want those fucking Indians off that land!”

It got so bad with this juvenile excuse to use profanity on public radio that I am surprised it didn’t go any further!

The radio interviews could have sunk to new lows something like this:

“He said what!”

“Well sir, he said; ‘I want those fucking Indians off that land!’”

“No, he didn’t really say fuck, did he?”

“Yes sir, fuck!” “Loud as day!”

“Jesus Christ!”

“No sir, fuck!”

…. “fuckin Indians, eh!”

Yes sir, fuckin Indians!”

“Well holy fuck, I never that I would here the Premier say that!”

“Fuckin right sir, loud as day!”

Boy, what’s this fuckin world coming too?”

“Fucked if I know!”

Your “wash your mouth out with soap” scribe;
Allan W Janssen

God only knows!

Here is the problem I have with mainstream religion in a nutshell.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s Christianity, Islam, Judiasm or “The Gospel of Bob!”

You got twenty people in a line and the guy at one end says; “That girl at the other end of the line has a nice smile, pass it on!” The next guys repeats it and so on down the line until the second last person says to the girl; “Your mother wears nice purple pants!

O.K. – So then the girl writes this down and puts the note away!
(With me so far?)

Years later someone finds the note and a great debate erupts about whether “mothers” pants are actually royal blue or some shade of lavender!

This is a good representation of the debate going on now about the role of Judas in the Bible.

The story was handed down in verbal form for a few generations before it was finally written down about 1700 years ago. (300 years AFTER Jesus)

Now scholars are picking apart this bastardized version of what happened and debating whether it means Judas was actually a good guy or the betrayer of Jesus.

If they can’t agree on this unchanged written version of Judas how can they lend ANY creedance to the original story that was passed on down the line to the girl with the nice smile?? Explain that, eh!

You can bank on us!

One of the reasons I blog is to give me a chance to rant about stuff like the following:

Paul Reviczky is an 89 year old man who lived in his small house on Sheppard Ave. W. in Toronto. Paul was content to live out his last few days in peace and quiet in the house he had called home for the past 50 years but then someone got a hold of some info on Paul, went to a bank, and put a mortgage on his house without his knowledge. [Reference Link]

One thing led to another and now the bank has foreclosed on his house and he is out in the street! It is totally beyond me how something like this could have happened.

First of all the bank should have done a better check on the person applying for the mortgage and if not, I would think that THEY were on the hook for giving money to someone through fraud.

Instead, since the banks have a lot more power than some small guy on the street, they went after Paul and decided he was responsible even though he had absolutely nothing to do with anything!

It’s almost like a comedy of errors except that I can assure you that Paul is not laughing. How this twisted bit of logic came about that Mr. Reviczky was responsible in any way is mind boggling.

This seems to be a perfect example of “might makes right,” since the Banks have enough pull to go after anyone, for almost any reason, no matter how flimsy or twisted their logic seems to be.

A further example of this is when I had a cheque bounce a few months ago because I was about two dollars short.

NOW, the reason I was short was becaus the bank took out five dollars in service charges for something or other on the same day and decided that it was the cheque that had to be returned, not their charges.

Oh yea, and then they charged me thirty five dollars for the bounced cheque so I was about forty bucks in the hole anyway.

I have since changed banks but I don’t think they really give a shit. P.T. Barnum once said: “There’s a sucker born every minute!”

Your pissed scribe;
Allan W Janssen

Don’t shake it more than twice!

Iran’s Supreme Leader: Don’t masturbate during Ramadan

On his blog, Sayyid Ali Khameini offers advice to the faithful about appropriate conduct during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan.

    Q: “If somebody masturbates during the month of Ramadan, but without any discharge, is his fasting invalidated?”

    A: Iranian Supreme Leader: “If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen and nothing is discharged, his fasting is correct even though he has done a ḥarām (forbidden) act.

    But, if he intends masturbation or he knows that he usually discharges semen by this process and semen really comes out, it is a ḥaram – intentionally breaking fasting.”

Meanwhile, Joe asks;

    The Ramadan fast is only from sunrise to sunset. Does this mean it’s OK after dark?

We are anxiously awaiting a reply, not only to the question of doing it in the dark but also the part about “intent!” ……… Allan

They don’t come cheap!

*Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
(Open letter to Dr. Laura Schlessinger)

A tale of two brothers.

This is the tale of two brothers. Let’s draw a rough parallel and say one is a “hippie” and the other is a “punker.”

Although they come from the same Father and had the same set of values instilled in them, in the long run they turned out to be two very different people.

The one, (the hippie) walks around with flowers and prayer beads and since he is a Beatles fan preaches, “All you need is love,” in the tradition of John and Paul.

He sees the world as a garden (although it was once a paradise) and himself as its caretaker. His main job is to get people to come into his garden and share in the bounty of pot, chanting and free love!

The other, (the punker) has a much harsher view. He thinks the world is a dangerous place, much like a desert, and the only way to get ahead is to make his own way by his own means.

The world to him is unforgiving and his way of coping is to live by a certain set of rules and then to get as many others as possible to follow those rules as well.

That way they can all live in relative peace and harmony in the neighbourhood.

In this tale there are also cousins around who are skinheads, rappers, jazz buffs, classical musicians, into reggae and country plus all sorts of buskers, freelancers and people from Utah, but that’s another story for another time.

Now the hippie has been around a long time and been through a lot of trials and tribulations. He has had his ups and downs and for a long time was even the town bully. Also, due to his drug dealings he was quite well off. But, age and a few appearances before the (secular) courts have mellowed him somewhat over the years.

Becoming a responsible adult with age and experience the hippie has started to become the sort of man his Father wanted him to be. True he still occasionally listens to the Beatles and rock music. He still occasionally espouses his philosophy to his neighbours. Once in a while he even plays his sitar.

Overall though, he has learned many of life’s cruel lessons and is becoming an adult who is responsible for his own actions. He got a job, will probably marry and have children one day and for him the world is slowly unfolding as it should.

His younger brother, meanwhile, came from a different Mother and grew up in a totally different neighbourhood. His was a life of conflict and strife and the one rule he learned early is that you have to survive by your wits and strength.

His was not a world of love and peace but rather a test to see who was strongest.

Gone was the concept of “Love thy neighbour” and in its place the family became all-important. To survive he had to rely on his brothers and half brothers and together with them face what life had to offer. In times of crisis, his cousins and uncles were called upon, and as a last resort he would even have to convince his neighbours that a united front was needed.

Instead of “love one and other,” it was a case of “us against them” and he looked inward instead of outward. No “sit-ins and protests” for our punker friend here. No, rather he became a “head banger” and instead of pot he turned to harder drugs, which he had to take 5 times a day.

Under the onslaught of heavy metal and the sayings of Curt Cobain, (who by the way died tragically) the younger brother had a much rougher childhood and adolescence than his older hippie brother.

Unemployment was rampant in the family and many times he had to live on government handouts and the kindness of strangers. Crime was all around him and the struggle to survive gave his life a rough edge.

Early on, the younger brother discovered a drug called “ecstasy” that took away much of the pain of living and replaced it with boundless energy and a feeling of ………well, ecstasy!

Now the days were less cruel and at times even pleasant. The drudgery of life was lifted whenever his pusher filled him with the magic elixir and he began to feel so good that at times he would go so far as to kill or give up his life for it.

His ecstasy was carried as a shield before him and he began to live his life around it much as his older brother had done before him with his “pot” and “counter-culture.”

So, that’s the way the story sits to this day. Oh, I’m sure that the younger brother will one day follow in the footsteps of his older brother and start to grow up and become the man their father wanted them to be, but you see the teen years are not easy and I fear junior still has a few bumps ahead of him. Only time will tell.

Your scribe
Allan W Janssen

So there!

Just to get this straight, I remind you once again that last week the Pope quoted some 6-700 year old documents that basically said that some of Muhhamads teachings were “evil and inhuman” because they “spread their faith by the sword.”

The Pope had to apologize for those remarks this week but just to prove how wrong he was some Muslims in Palestine went out and burned churches while in Somalia they killed a nun at a childrens hospital!
So there, take that Infidel!

Now here is where it gets even stranger. Muslim spokesman in different parts of the world have condemed acts by what they call “extremist elements” of Islam…….. while at the same time calling on mainstream Muslims to practice restraint and not engage in any acts of violence in reprisal for the comments made by the Pope.

I may be a bit naive here but If Islam is such a religion of peace why do they have to issue an appeal for restraint in the first place.

Even though I am not a great fan of the Catholic Church, (or any other mainstream religion) I can’t recall a single instance in the last five hundred years where the Vatican has had to call for calm and non-violence amongst the faithfull in regards to a perceived insult to Catholicism.

Remember boys and girls: Sticks and Stones my break my bones – but names will never hurt me…… So play nice!

There is a group called “Al-Qaida in Iraq” that yesterday warned that war against Christianity and the West will go on until Islam “takes over the world.”

No apology by the Pope will be sufficient they said, while demonstrators in South Asia and Indonesia carried black flags and burned effigies of the Pope as well.

“Al-Qaida in Iraq” went on to say: “You and the West are doomed, as you can see from your defeat in Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya and elsewhere!”

In Iran, meanwhile, supreme leader (doesn’t his remind you of “fearless leader” on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show?”) Ayatollah Ali Khamenei called for protests against the U.S.

Ali argued that while the Pope may have been decieved into making his remarks, the words give the West an “excuse for suppressing Muslims” by depicting them as terrorists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Your scribe
Allan W Janssen

A few more quick observations before the day gets underway.

*I normaly hate those “cutsy” messages on church and store signs (Like one one a high school billboard that said “seven days of this makes one weak!”) and bumper stickers.

But, yesterday I actually saw a couple that I really liked .

The first was a sign in front of a travel agency. It said “GO AWAY!”

Then a bumper sticker that really struck home since I’m not nearly in as much of a hurry as I used to be. It said:

“I may be slow, but I’m ahead of YOU!”

*Next – some legislators in the States are starting to talk about putting up a fence between the U.S. and Canada as well as the one down by Mexico. Personally I think it’s a great idea.

Maybe it will keep those assholes OUT!

(I remeber back in the 80’s I was going from Sarnia to Port Huron for a bit of shopping and when I stopped at Customs the guy asked me for a passport. I told him I only had a drivers license and why did he suddenly want a passport or visa to get in. He replied: “We have to be carefull you know, there are a lot of people that want to get into this Country by any means possible! I looked him straight in the eye and said: “Why?” A minute later I was back on the Canadian side with a “refused entry” slip in my hand! I thought to myself, “fuck em,” and went to our own mall. It’s also one of the last times I felt an urge to go to the States.)

*Thailand has an unusual political system. It’s a democaracy with a twist. They just had their 18th coup d’e-tat in a row.

It seems that when the government gets too rank they send in the army to throw them out and then have democratic elections to get a new government.

Until that elected government gets too smelly. Then they have another coup d’e-tat. Then they have a democratic election to………… well you get the idea!

*All sorts of fallout about that Maher Arar case I wrote about yesterday. People are starting to call for officials in the R.C.M.P. and C.S.I..S. to be fired.

These assholes shouldn’t be fired!
They should be going to JAIL!

Your faithfull scribe
Allan w Janssen

“The Ballad of Maher Arar!”

There is a guy here in Canada by the name of Maher Arar who has had a lot of problems in the last little while.
This is: “The Ballad of Maher Arar!”

Now Maher is a Syrian born (Canadian citizen) engineer who has lived here in Canada for many years. While on vacation in Tunisia to visit relatives back in September of 2002 he was stopped on the way back home during a change of planes in New York .

To make a long story short it appears the R.C.M.P. and C.S.I.S. (Canadian Security and Intelligence Services) asked the U. S. to put Maher and his wife on a security watch list and described them as “Islamic extremists” suspected of being linked to al-Qaida. (To get the facts straight, Maher had run into someone {once, a long time ago}socially, who was linked to al-Qaida and he has since then been described as a “person of interest!”

Maher was arrested in New York and then eventually sent to Syria for interrogation. (It seems they can’t use torture and all that stuff on U.S. soil) During the year he was confined he was………… well let’s just say he survived and eventually got home.

Now there is an investigation into the whole affair and the shit has hit the fan. First of all is this quote: “Everyone who testified accepts that this description of Arar was wrong and should not have been given to the Americans. There was no basis for any such assertion.” On top of this the inquiry found that senior R.C.M.P. officials realized their mistake but didn’t want to admit any errors so they tried to back their origianl claims against Arar with all kinds of information that was exaggerated, distorted or just plain false! (THEY LIED!)
They even went so far as to alter their own police notes!!!!!!!!!

It goes further, the inquiry stated that: “The malevolence of Canadian officialdom didn’t stop with Arar’s arrest. On several occasions, even as the Canadian Government was trying to free Arar from his foreign dungeon, C.S.I.S. officials were telling the Syrians that it would be better if Arar was not let back into Canada.”
(C.S.I.S. denies this but it is documented as true!)

In an effort to dispel the notion that Canada didn’t want Arar back, Foreign Affairs tried to draft a letter to the Syrians saying that there was no evidence whatsoever that he was tied to any terrorist group or activity. Both the R.C.M.P. and C.S.I.S refused to put their stamp of approval on this letter and instead insisted on making even more false claims about Arar.

In the months before and after Arar’s release, unnamed Canadian security officials conducted what Justice Dennis O’Connor described as a “smear campaign” of leaks to the media of supposedly confidential intelligence that was “inaccurate, unsupported and grossly unfair to Mr. Arar.”

This all came to a head with a newspaper story by reporter Juliette O’Neill, who said that the leaks had come from the R.C.M.P. and G.S.I.S. in their attempt to defend themselves against allegations that the security forces had “sent an innocent man to be tortured in Syria.”

Now listen to this………….. in respnse to this article the R.C.M.P. raided O’Neill’s home, took her in for questioning and confiscated all her correspondence, notes, computers etc.

As for poor Arar, his life is all but ruined. But, the O’Connor inquiry has laid the groundwork for the mother of all lawsuits against the R.C.M.P. and the Government. We can say that this time the man will get the Mounties, not the other way around!

What the HELL is going on here? Is it 1984 or is this a Police State? This is Canada for Christ’s sake, not some two bit third world country.

I guess the only difference is that here in Canada, when these abuses of authority are discovered, we are allowed to sue the ass off the perpetrators instead of just quietly disappearing!

It’s no wonder I hate the cops as much as the religious nuts.
(And we all know that cops don’t lie, right?)

Your pissed scribe:
Allan W Janssen

Conspiracy Theorists!

Reading the Saturday morning paper and naturally it is full of 9/11 since this is the fifth anniversary. (Think I’ll take the third and drink a fifth.)

There were lots of articles including one about the “conspiracy theorists” and some of the different scenarios people had come up with. You know, the U.S. Government was behind it, the Jews did it, Buddy Whatshisname and the Udder Fellows did it, and so on.

Listening to these theorists it struck me that they used the exact same arguments and had the same mindset for their bullshit as is employed by “religious theorists” (Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu etc.) to promote their own particular belief system. No difference at all. Interesting eh?