The getting old thing sucks.

I understood from a young age that growing old wouldn’t be a picnic and I’ve met the various aches and pains I’ve developed over the years with, what I would like to believe, is a certain amount of grace and acceptance. What I’m not happy about, and what no one who ever bitched about getting old had ever mentioned to me, is how some of us (me) would develop weird little disfigurements as we age. 

Specifically, little bitty bumps. I noticed a few years back that I had a couple of little bumps on my forehead near my hairline. They didn’t hurt like a pimple and they weren’t hard like a wart. Just a couple of little bumps like tiny lunar landers had set down on my face. Well, you can’t be young and beautiful forever I suppose so I accepted the bumps as a the price of wisdom and moved on. It was only a couple so no big deal. Then today I just happened to notice that the number had grown. I now have a string of the damned things across my forehead down into my left eyebrow. What the fuck?

Crater face has arrived.
It’s like a scatterplot graph of Trump’s approval rating on my fucking forehead!
Click to embiggen, if you dare.

I didn’t sign up for this shit and I want to know who to write to in order to make a proper complaint. There’s eight of those little fuckers on my face now and I suspect they’re conspiring to increase their numbers as I sleep. I tried checking on WebMD to see if they had a name for them and now I think I might have forehead cancer. Don’t ever try to look up anything on WebMD, they always say it’s cancer. 

So I’m trying to spin this into a positive by telling myself it makes my forehead look all rugged and shit, but it doesn’t. It just looks like I’ve been practicing writing in braille on my face. Also, that little outcropping of hair at my widow’s peak is slowly losing the battle of existence and now you know why I shave my head regularly. 

Oh well. I suppose I’ll just have to live with it, but it would’ve been nice to get a warning that this was going to happen. 

10 thoughts on “The getting old thing sucks.

  1. The. Joys of getting older are abundant. My boobs remind me of that everyday. Write down to ask the doctor about the bumps on your next visit. Better to know.
    With that being said even with all the aches and pains you are aging well. Physically and emotionally. The youth of your mind and soul keep you young and that helps others feel that way too. Love you.

  2. For me it is deep wrinkles, Facial hair around the mouth and chin, and eyebrows that twist like the branches of a tree in a high wind. I also bruise very easily and have no extra fat to save me in a fall. I must agree growing old is a great experience. But I think it is better than the alternative.

  3. Yeah, I went straight from acne (which I still have, though significantly diminished) to bumps and little scar tissue things that just crop up for no reason. Sigh.

  4. Just a reminder, if you have never had a full body exam by a dermatologist, you should as a baseline for skin cancers. He can tell you about those bumps, and why you have them. My bump turned out to be Seborrheic Keratoses, annoying but not deadly. Be safe.

  5. You aint seen nothing yet. Your nose and ear hair grow at an alarming rate. If you dont regularly trim them you look like a walrus.

  6. I immediately thought of the Pleiades star cluster.
    I hate mirrors myself because before you know it you’ve turned from the aforementioned walrus into a web of woolly spiders (bikini spiders… much worse, women should wear boxers) with a hard decision to make on how to contort your body to braid your back hair. That is all… Be well!

  7. So, as it turns out, may have just been mild acne after all. Noticed the other day that almost all of those little bastards have since disappeared.

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