Too Much Faith Will Make You Crazy: Nice day for a nekkid walk edition.

cat-bible-thumperOne of the more interesting things about God is his tendency to ask people to do very strange things. Sometimes he asks them to haul their kid up the side of a mountain and slit his throat and other times he asks them to take all their clothes off and go for a walk in public:

2 women, 2 children take a naked stroll |

A woman in her 20s was walking with her 40-something-year-old mother and her toddler while carrying her newborn baby in her arms. Everyone was smiling and enjoying the spring weather.

The only thing missing? Their clothes.

[…] “Like freshly-born baby naked,” Charlotte-Mecklenburg police Capt. Rod Farley said. “This was Adam and Eve stuff, not even a loincloth.”

The sight “blew my mind,” said resident Jill Mead, who was driving on Providence Road at the time.

When police stopped the women, they said “the Lord told them to get naked and walk down the street,” Farley said.

Police transported all four of them to Presbyterian Matthews, where the adults were physically and mentally evaluated.

“It didn’t appear that they had any problems short of that they didn’t have any clothes on,” Farley said.

Given God’s track record of asking people to do strange things I can’t begin to imagine why the police would think these women might need to have their mental state evaluated. Surely in the grand number of things God has demanded his followers to do — many of them involving the wholesale slaughter of people who don’t believe in him — this has to be a fairly innocuous request. It’s almost as if these officers don’t believe God talks to his followers and tell them to do things.

Perhaps you’re wondering what possible reason God would have for such a command, but according to the Bible you’re not supposed to question God. You’re just supposed to do it like a good little sycophant. Mysterious ways and all that nonsense. If God asks you to do it then surely he has Very Good Reasons® for doing so. After all, you can’t prove that God didn’t ask these women to walk around naked with their kids, right? Of course you can’t.

3 thoughts on “Too Much Faith Will Make You Crazy: Nice day for a nekkid walk edition.

  1. Sunday morning, at about 4:30 A.M., I met the archangel Gabriel. At least that’s who he claimed to be. He also claimed to be the archangel Michael, but Michael is shy and afraid so he invited Gabriel down from Heaven to help him cope with this Earthly world.

    He had come into my store; I work the graveyard shift at a convenience store. He talked for two hours, almost until it was time for me to go home. My manager had come in and she eventually called the cops. Gabriel/Michael didn’t seem to be an immediate danger to anybody, but he also showed no sign of going away, and sometimes he’d become withdrawn and chant “love” over and over again until he had regained his composure.

    As I said, he went on for a couple of hours, but early on he did give me some important information: Lucifer is “trapped in Asheville, NC” and can’t leave. So that could be either good or bad for the tourist trade, I suppose, but I live well across the county line and am thus safe. I guess. But his story about the female sex demon (who was riding on the Asheville city bus with Michael/Gabriel and, yes, Lucifer) has me intrigued.

    On the other hand, he also called Barack Obama “the son of perdition,” so I’m leaning toward taking everything he said with a grain of salt.

    This could be a chicken-or-egg situation: which came first, the archangel(s) or the crazy? (Or the meth?)

  2. I’m not sure that it matters which came first, religion is often used as a cover by the crazy, on purpose or not. There are far too many mentally ill people out there who have religious delusions, but because it’s religion, they get a pass from mental health professionals for fear of offending the religious.

  3. I’ll go up to every woman I meet today and say “God tells you to take off your clothes” and see how far it gets me.

    Yeahhhhhhh…. that’ll work.

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