If you’ve been following along for any amount of time you already know I’m not a huge Apple fan, but that has more to do with the policies of the company than the quality of their products. The hardware is fine — it’s the same thing you’d get if you bought a Wintel box only with the price jacked way the hell up — and the OS works pretty well, if not quite as flawlessly as they’d have you believe.
For years Apple has hinted in subtle ways that they design their computers for the average person. I’ve often joked that their definition of average was “people who can’t tie their own shoes without drooling on themselves,” but my only evidence for that observation was their attempt to sell Macs with a single button mouse. The whole mouse was all one big button so you could flail at it wildly and still get it to do things.
That said, their ads have always suggested that you didn’t need to be a computer expert to use one of their computers, but for the most part they didn’t portray their customers as gibbering idiots with horribly misplaced priorities. Well, that’s all changed with their latest round of ads:
Ha ha! Isn’t that funny? Mr. Green is more worried about making birth announcements on his Mac than getting his wife to the hospital when she’s in the middle of labor. I’ll bet she’s real glad she married that winner!
I get that their tying to hype up their “Geniuses” that they have at their stores to help you figure out how the hell to use that fancy new Apple product you spent three times what you should have on even though it’s as user friendly as you can get without it actually reading your mind to do what you want. But did they have to make the customer he’s helping look like such a moron?
Then there’s this:
Happy Anniversary sweetheart! I hurriedly slapped this video together on my Mac using whatever the hell I had on hand with the help of an Apple employee who is probably contemplating suicide from dealing with idiots like myself all day long! Sure, I could have used the time to actually book us a nice restaurant or some other romantic evening out, but look at the effects I used! Isn’t the CP one awesome?
Not quite the gibbering idiot of the first ad, but still pretty pathetic. They certainly don’t make the life of an Apple “Genius” look all that appealing what with not being able to fly someplace without every idiot on the plane suddenly having a computer “emergency.” Or being able to sleep through the night without some asshole banging on his door for help on how to make photo cards.
The only way it could have been more overt is if they had plastered a big “Apple: Products for Stupid People” at the end of the commercial. It’s a move that risks alienating the non-idiots that love their products, but considering how huge the moron demographic is, could end up being a profitable one. Assuming, of course, that the idiots aren’t so stupid as to realize that Apple is trying to advertise to them.