You might want to set your sights on something a bit more valuable than this:
Forest Grove officers say Christopher Robison, 26, set off an alarm when he broke into the school administration building on Main Street early Sunday afternoon. There was just enough time for him to grab a handful of Dum Dum candies before his escape, according to authorities.
Police arrived and found Robison walking nearby. When they confronted him, police say Robison confessed not only to the school district burglary but also to breaking into St. Bede Church on Elm Street earlier in the day, where he admittedly stole a liter of Sprite.
Now I’m as prone to getting a case of the munchies as the next guy, but I’ve never been so hard up that I felt the need to break into a school and a church to satiate a craving.
If he’s smart, and all evidence suggests he isn’t, if he ends up in prison he won’t be honest about what got him sent there.