True Bible Decoders are up to over 200+ wrong guesses about the end of the world.

As long as we’re talking about True Believers™ making predictions about the end of the world according to the Bible we can’t forget the folks who make Harold Camping look like a rank amateur when it comes to being wrong: The True Bible Code and Lord’s Witnesses.

The last time we visited with them was back in October of 2009 at which point they’d been at it for 3 years and had amassed a total of 171 wrong guesses using the tried and true method of moving the date back a couple of weeks every time their prediction failed to come to pass. You’d think it would eventually sink into their thick skulls that they haven’t a clue what they’re doing, but then you’d be underestimating how thick some skulls can be because they’re still predicting away:

There will be a terrorist attack on the US taking the form of fire from the heavens and a rising mushroom cloud on 2010Ab24 (2010August6-7) in the 6th hour of the Hebrew day. The attack will hit Westside Midtown Manhattan producing a man made mushroom cloud rising from the Hudson river.

Now would be the time to buy 2 years supply of candles, solar power, wind power, food, water, gas bottles, deisel etc. for yourself your loved ones and some guests.

[…] We are not going to meet Jesus at 30,000 feet. We shall meet him in heaven. The other half of us who do not learn this lesson will destroy both ourselves our society and our planet, which will react with an extinction level volcanic event presumably caused by Nuclear war and Global warming in our present understanding. The planet will literally vomit us off and heal itself at our expense in a natural payback designed into the earth by God. Armageddon culminates with the greater volcanic destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah in scriptural terms, the greater flood of Noah, only with a different fluid, molten lava. God will then resurrect these ‘slow learners’, put them in Hell. There he will show them the video of mankind’s self destruction, and ask them the following type of rhetorical question: OK boys, where do you think you went wrong here? The first birth pang of the coming Kingdom of God, is a terrorist nuclear attack on the USA in our present understanding…

We now predict a terrorist attack using a form of fire from the heaven that we cannot conclusively determine, but we think may be nuclear. The US will be hit with a with a weapon producing a mushroom cloud rising from the sea (1Kings18), hitting midtown Westside Manhattan, near the Hudson river on 2010Ab24 (2010August6-7) during the 6th hour of the Hebrew day.

We are warning you about this, so that when it happens you know that God has spoken of this event beforehand and in fact will save us from nuclear annihilation in the near future…

Got that? This is all set to go down a week from tomorrow. Of course, that’s been the case for the better part of the last almost four years. Had you been gearing up with every warning these nutcases sent out you’d have enough crap stockpiled to support your whole state for a decade.

Don’t expect these folks to give up anytime soon as this is what True Faith is all about. It doesn’t matter how many times they fail to get the date right because they believe if they keep guessing eventually they’ll be proven correct and boy will the rest of us look stupid for not listening to them when we had the chance.

It’s the same reason I doubt Harold Camping’s nutcases will give up when their date of March 21st, 2011 comes and goes without a rapture. He was wrong back in 1994 and it only cost him a few believers. The ones that are left as just as fanatical as ever about their belief in their leader’s predictive abilities. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s back within a couple of years with yet another prediction, assuming he doesn’t die first as he is in his upper 80’s. Death is probably the only thing that’ll get him, and the True Bible Decoder nutcases, to stop.

8 thoughts on “True Bible Decoders are up to over 200+ wrong guesses about the end of the world.

  1. It’s the same reason I doubt Harold Camping’s nutcases will give up when their date of March 21st, 2001 comes and goes without a rapture.

    Yeah, that one came and went a while ago. I think you mean his latest target date: May 21, 2011.

  2. March 2011, isn’t that the date in the RPG Shadowrun when Magic returns to the world and elves and dwarves start being born again?

    Sounds like he’s going with the Gospel According to FASA with this one.

  3. They’re the champs, all right. But now I will make a prediction: in the next two years, they will continue to make failed predictions, and Les will post about them yet once more.

  4. How does 24 Ab (Av) 2010 become August 2010 on the Gregorian calendar? 2010 on a Hebrew calendar was 3760 years ago.

  5. Everyone knows that the end of the world events are set in motion the moment Skynet becomes sentient.

  6. I took a look at the “Lord’s Witnesses” site and wow…they are batshit insane! What they are saying makes absolutely no sense. I’ve seen writings from people in mental institutions that make more sense than this! Just look at this as an example.

    “18 ‘Set your heart, from this day and forward, from the 24th [festival day of the year?] to the 9th [2010Sivan24 or to the 9th day of some other month or from 2010Sivan24 to the 9th day of some other month] [festival which is the Passover on the last day of the year Nisan14], from the day that the foundation [not foundation stone, but foundation. This is the period during which the 1NC reserves join the LWs , so that Jesus then becomes foundation of the temple. The first one arriving starts the temple rededication which starts the 7 day festival of LW Hanukkah] of the temple of Jehovah was laid [Well Jesus was laid as a foundation stone on Nisan14] set your heart [on this ‘day’ and its events] [24 stands for divine organizational completeness].

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