I am, apparently, not a real man.

Because I am completely unwilling to have my nostrils waxed:

Real men get nostrils waxed – Salt Lake Tribune.

Before admiring the powerful muscularity of the latest pickup truck model, some men attending The Man Expo on Friday afternoon stopped off to get their nose hair waxed or uni-brow trimmed.

“I can breathe better,” said Paul Garfield, 18, after taking his turn on the waxing table. “I won’t have to deal with the pesky nose hair. It didn’t hurt as bad.”

Encouraged by Garfield, a handful of his friends lined up, one by one, for their own wax jobs.

[…] On his way out of the expo, Adam Johnson, 36, said he came to the event because of all “the dude stuff.” He was slightly disappointed not to have seem more camping and outdoors equipment.

“One thing that I did that I was not expecting, was to get my nose hair waxed,” Johnson said. “My nose feels beautiful and slender. It feels five pounds lighter.”

Um… no. My nose is big, crooked, and ugly and no amount of waxing is going to change that fact. When the nose hairs get unruly I’ll make use of a small electric trimmer designed for the purpose, but waxing is out.

5 thoughts on “I am, apparently, not a real man.

  1. Oh my god, how painful would that be?! Admittedly, I occasionally pluck the errant hair that has become emboldened enough to venture outside the confines of my nostril cavity into the clear light of day. That said, though, I would never even consider having my nostrils waxed. In fact, I’ve never even heard of it being done. How odd.

  2. I have to admit that when I first read the article I had to double check that it was on The Onion or posted on April 1st.

  3. “My nose feels beautiful and slender” – hehe,maybe this guy got the nose job available next door to the waxing.I call shenanigans.Real people dont talk this way surely.

  4. I’m trying to imagine how this could be accomplished without doing progressive and serious damage to the inside of your nose. Sticking warm goo into your nose and then ripping it, the hair, and surrounding tissue out of your nose has got to be a bad idea in the long term and damn difficult in the short term.

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