SEB Mailbag: “The Two Witnesses” edition.

Here’s something you don’t see every day. An email about the coming apocalypse that combines Christian end-times-nonsense with a government/alien (as in UFOs) conspiracy.

To whom it will concern,

A man and a woman are about to witness to, and reveal, some very shocking information that will have a profound and quite disturbing effect upon the populace. The testimony will encompass ‘top secret’ programs and certain ‘black technology’ that the US Government and the US Military do not want you to know about.

More specifically the information involves US involvement with Alien species and alien technology. This joint military and alien alliance is one of pure evil, and more specifically, Satanic. Many heroic whistle blowers have lost their lives trying to bring this shocking information into the public domain.

Listen to this testimony of Phil Shneider who was murdered after he started speaking out in town hall meetings about his involvement with the construction of numerous underground bases to accomadate this very unholy alliance. Phil was an extremely brave man who continued to talk even after suffering many attempts upon his life. In the end he was strangled to death in his apartment.

Listen to this testimony of former US Navy Intelligence officer and patriot William Cooper who was murdered in a staged shootout at his rural home.

There are many former military personal speaking out well, including former astronaut Ed Mitchell and a former senior member of NASA Clark McClelland.

The ‘Two Witnesses’ will indeed shock the world in the coming weeks. These two are indeed, the Two Witnesses of Revelation 11 that are mentioned in the Book of Revelation. They will be testifying that they are witnesses to the works of Revelation 12 that have been recorded in great detail at


This email has been sent to you by Mark Brander of Ontario Canada. I am a witness as well to the works of Revelation 12. I have known Linda for several years and have been given many dream/visions about these works that have also included a couple of very profound spiritual encounters.

Cause if you can’t trust a complete stranger who has had several dreams and/or visions about “these works” then who can you trust?

But that’s just the tip of the crazy iceberg. I’ve included the rest after the jump because it’s lengthy and I don’t want that much crazy spread all over SEB’s front page. Be prepared to be awed by the amazing prophecies of a complete nut bag. As always, we post this nonsense as a public service to remind folks of the importance of taking your medication every day.


Following are a number of prophetic excerpts about the Two Witnesses that have been received in past weeks by Linda Newkirk. You will find the complete prophecies posted in their precise chronological order as recent chapters of Book Twelve at

“A New Set of Laws; and My Laws are in Him!”

Come unto Me, My Blessed Child; for My arms are outstretched wide to you and My heart is overflowing with love towards you and My Little Son, who lives in you!

My Blessed Child, I am setting you up high on My olive branch; for from this perspective I shall cause you to see far and wide! For, I shall soon give you new eyes, new ears, and a new power, which is unlike anything that you have ever seen! And, I shall put into your mouth a sword of fire; and into your hands a sword of fire; and through this fire, I shall wreak havoc on the enemy!

My Blessed Child, eat from My hands what I now feed you, and drink from this cup what I now give you to drink, for a day of great reckoning is at hand! It is a time wherein I will raise up My Two Witnesses, and a time wherein I will also raise up a few Joshuas and a few Elijahs.

Blessed are you, My Beloved Child, for even as My Chosen One, Moses, was called and was sent down with My law, with My Ten Commandments, I have likewise called you, have chosen you to come forward, even unto Me, and to bring forward a set of new laws and commandments, which will go out through My manchild, which you have born into the earth; and whom you are now birthing into the earth!

Yes, My Little one, My work through the little manchild, through My very own Son, will bring into the Earth a new set of laws! For, He is the birthing of My Kingdom Come and My Will Be Done in the Earth! And, he is My new set of laws and My laws are in him! And, it is through him that I shall bring forth My New Covenant with My people, that through this Covenant, each is the living law, the law manifest; for I AM THE LAW AND THE LAW IS ME!

My Little One, this is My Kingdom Power, and I am the basis of this Kingdom Power, a power, which is built upon truth, honesty, integrity, love, compassion, faith, and honor, among other divine attributes. But, the basis of this law, My Little One, is My pure love! And, none will walk in this new power if they will not love Me above all, and truly love others, even as they love themselves! For, this power comes to each one through My Little Son, the Manchild of Revelation Chapter Twelve!

It is time, My Blessed Child! It is time for him to return to My throne! It is time for him to go out into My faithful, to take up residence in them! When this takes place, I will begin to rise up My Supernatural Army in and through these!

It is time for My Little Son to come back to My throne! Yes, My Little One, you have waited a very long time! And, you have suffered great and unspeakable tortures and persecutions! And, I have watched! I have looked! I have weighed many things; and I have tarried for a season, but My promise to you is that the time (to take My son home) is truly now at hand! For, I have set the stage! I have moved many pieces of the puzzle into place. I am busy preparing the Two Witnesses, for these shall soon appear and they will shock the world. For, I shall bring them forth in a way and in a place, wherein many shall be shocked! But, even so, I shall bring them forth!

My Little One, you see great and marvelous things taking place around you regarding My Little Son, and you are amazed at My handiwork in My Son; and rightly so! For, I have prepared Him for such times as these!

My Blessed Child, My Little Son will help many, who are sick and dying from all manner of diseases, but he will set free especially many, who have the Morgellons Implant Disease! Yes, it is an implant disease, one in which Satan and his many hoards have viciously implanted the bodies of many with foreign substances, the purpose being to siphon off their light, and to override their electrical (neurological) systems until they are either mind controlled slaves, or dead! They really do not care, but delight in all of the suffering, which they have inflicted upon these unsuspecting souls!

My Little One, you know the work of My son, that he is able to clean remove all such implants from the bodies of these Morgellons sufferers. And, I have brought him up amidst the most horrendous of implant technologies! Never has a living soul suffered what you have suffered, not any of the Morgellons sufferers, not anyone, not another living soul!

I have brought up My Little Son in you, amidst the most horrendous of conditions, beneath the feet of Satan and all of his hoards! And, I have done so all in order to make him ready to go into My Bride, My Supernatural Army, and to equip them for these most horrendous wars, which involve these most terrible of implants and implant diseases! For, these implant diseases are now rampant and are going to increase in an exponential way! You will see this in the world, when these creatures come up out of the earth and sting the people for five months! (Rev 9:10) As you well suspect, they will sting them by driving fibers and other implantable objects into their skin and tissues! Almost overnight, the implant diseases will skyrocket, and escalate to pandemic proportions, and many will not know at all what has caused such pain, such red whelps, and such stinging!

Therefore, My Little One, as this is already going on and there are no cures for these implant diseases, except for My cure through My Little Son, the manchild of Revelation Chapter Twelve, I will most assuredly take him to My throne very, very soon; and I will also call all, who are deemed ready and worthy; and I will impart My Little Son into these, who will them become the Manifest Sons of God!

My Little One, these Sons will then become your seed, as mentioned in Revelation Chapter Twelve, verse seventeen! And, Satan, on seeing them, will make war against them!

In My army, There will be many ranks, and not all will walk in the same power! For, in some the manchild will be of great power and in others, he will be of small power! Those, who walk in great power, will do great and marvelous works and will exhibit much of My power, the most powerful of these being the Two Witnesses! But, others among them will also walk in much power and will manifest many miracles, many healings and many deliverances in My Name

(end of excerpt)
“Two Little Children!”

“My Blessed Child, I am your Father, Yahweh, the Most High God! My Little One, do you see what I have in My hands?”

“Yes, My Lord, I see two little children, who are full of fire! And, they are on bended knees before You as they sit, one in each one of Your hands. Then, Father, I see that around each one there forms a pool of liquid light, of white, liquid fire; and from this pool the two little children now arise as two little olive trees. And, Father, also I hear a popping, a roaring and a crackling, like that of a fiery wind, which is in the midst of these two.”

“My Little One, do you remember My words from Joel Chapter Two?”

“Oh, Yes, my Lord, these words are especially about Your Supernatural Army! You tell of the fire, which is upon them and how the terrain before them will seem like the Garden of Eden, yet behind them will follow a great wasteland. For, they will be full of Your all-consuming fire!”

“My Little One, is it time for the world to see My army ride in this way?”

“Father, I do not think so. For, surely Your army is Your Bride; and You have already said that You must scrub Your Bride.”

“But, what do I have here in My hands?”

“Father, You have two, little ones, two little children, who are on bended knees before You! They are clean! Their robes are white and they are humble and fearful before You! You have them both in Your hands, one on Your right and one on Your left!”

“Are these My Army, My Little One?”

“No, My Lord; for they are only two. Two is not an army.”

“No, My Little One, this not an army! But, two ride at the head of My army, one on My right and one on My left. Do you see?”

“Yes, my Lord.”

“So, My Little One, from what I tell you now, it is important that You know that two not only ride at the head of My army, but two also precede My army.”

“But, Father these are humble, little children, lowly and afraid. How will they be at the head of Your army? For, they do not wish to fight, but are lowly, Father.”

“My Little One, this is a good question. And, I am pleased in this.”

“These are at the head of My army because they do not wish to fight. They are at the head of My army because they do not wish to lead. They are at the head of My army; for they have died to self and to things of the world. They are at rest and peace in Me. I am their First Love and their Only Love! This is why they are at the head of My army. My Little One, they are also at the head of My army because they were at the head from the beginning.”

“Father, why are You showing me these things now?”

“I show you because you need to fully understand that these two are considered to be two very unlikely ones, unlikely, indeed, according to the expectations and beliefs of many! Yet, even so, I will soon take them. I will open up a trap door beneath them and sink them into this deep pool of My pure and radiant fire. It will happen suddenly and suddenly I will send these two into the Earth, the forerunners of My army of fire. These two will pave the way for My incoming Supernatural Army. They have been around since the beginning and they are back now to begin their power walks. They will usher in My Kingdom Come and My Will be done!

Few will now believe what I tell you herein, and it is irrelevant whether any believe! But, soon the whole world will see that I now tell you the truth about these two. And, yes, they are humble. And, yes they want no part in strife. They DO LOVE ME ABOVE ALL, yet a little molding I will yet do in one! And, yes, they are unlikely ones to be at the head of My Army. But, remember, My Little One, that I DO what is done in and through them. For, I am in these two and these two are I. What they do is My perfect will and they do not deviate from My perfect will.

So, do not be troubled in how this will manifest. It will manifest and even as I tell you. It will manifest and ever so soon. So, be of good cheer in this. For, as I have told you, I am a God of Great Surprises; and I am about to surprise the whole world. I am your Father Yahweh, yea Jehovah, Most High God.

As witnessed, dictated and recorded this 5 th day of December, 2009,

Linda Newkirk
Part III
“More about the Two Witnesses”
“At the mouths of two Witnesses or three witnesses…”
Shall a thing be established.

And, with this said about the two witnesses, My Little One, the mystery of the two witnesses is revealed! For, you have asked for some time, “Why are they called the two witnesses?” “What have they witnessed?” These have been your questions and this is My answer. These are two, who have witnessed the most things about the works of Revelation Twelve. You, firstly; for you are the Woman of Revelation Twelve; and the old man secondly, for I have called him in early summer of 2004 and brought him forth to be your friend, although he did not know it (the nature of his work) at that time; and neither did you!

But, by early fall of 2004, you would know him and since that time, I have caused him to be your friend from a great distance and your confidante. From your almost daily conversations with him over the years, he has witnessed more than others, who only converse with you now and then!

As I have told you, there are indeed other witnesses, who know of the truths regarding these works! But, I have chosen only two, who will testify before the people with fire, with many signs and wonders and with great judgements! And, I have shown you these two!

For, this is a rebellious house; and I will soon call forth these two, who will plead with them through great fire and through great judgements. And, with this settled, I am your Father Yahweh, yea Jehovah, Most High God!

As witnessed, dictated and recorded this 12 th day of January, 2010,

Linda Newkirk

Part IV
Plain Talk from our Saviour: An Extended Delay!

“Come unto Me, My Blessed Child; for you have come seeking, asking that I speak to you in plain talk, in talk, which is devoid of mysteries, devoid of visions, dreams, similes, and metaphors. Plain talk, you seek from Me regarding My coming for My Faithful, how it will appear, how it will “look,” how it will manifest. And, I am not offended in this! I am not angry with you for asking this, but what you ask I now give readily.

My answer to you is plain! Soon, very, very soon, I will take My Little Son back to My throne! Yes, I have added a short time to your suffering; for you have asked for the salvation of the children of Satan! And, I have placed My Little Son in one, wherein I am training him to set free the children of the hidden goat lineage. Yes, I have added onto your time of suffering some additional amount of time; however, this is not lengthy, but short, as I have told you.”

“My Lord, forgive me if this statement is not appropriate; and please do not be offended in me, but My Lord, a short amount of time for You can be 1,000 years! For, Scriptures tell us that 1,000 years is as one day to You. (II Peter 3:8) Therefore, I ask You, Oh Blessed Saviour for clarity. My Lord, what is a short amount of time to You? Is it weeks, My Lord? Is it months? Is it, as of yet, an undetermined amount of time? I ask, My Lord, because the very concept of time has varied meanings to You when it represents time in this human world.

My Lord, I have seen You give dates, as I asked to see dates, only to see You give more time and make the dates, which You gave, null and void. Therefore, I ask in earnest, My Lord; for I do not understand what a short amount of time means to You!”

“My Little One, I am still looking! I am still weighing! Therefore, I can only be honest with you when I say, a short amount of time. I can expedite this time and compress this work into a very short time of some few days, or a few weeks; or I can extend it by some few months.”

“Father, is this time, this amount of extended time, whether it be compressed, or stretched out, dependent upon me in any way? Is there something that I must do, or not do? What must I do? Am I able to expedite this time in any way?”

“My Little One, continue on as you have continued! Be obedient. Be faithful in all things! Love Me above all. Do as I say. Speak when I tell you to speak. Write what I tell you to write. Be silent when I tell you to be silent, and I will do the rest. This is My work. I am Most High! In no way are you able to determine what I am looking at, what I am observing, or what I am doing. For, I am looking at many things the world over. So be at peace; for I am with you in all things.

Now, My Little One, I have given you plain talk regarding your questions. And, this plain talk, which you seek from Me involves other things, as well. Therefore, I will tell you some other things in plain talk! Yes, I will soon take My Son, My Little Manchild, back to My throne. When he goes, you will go also, and few others will go with you! Soon, I will seal the 144,000, and soon I will begin to release My Little Son, the Manchild, into My Sons, who are my Bride! These, who receive My Little Son, will be greatly persecuted, and tried and tested in severe and harsh ways, even as you are tried and tested.

All of these things will take place before the first Great Harvest. Great travail and great hardships will begin to come upon My people to cause them to repent before Me. For, they talk, talk, and talk, but they do not wish to repent.

My Little One, you know how bad it is in this world! You know just how few have stayed the course with you! You know how wicked the hearts of the people are; and you know how their hearts have grown cold for lack of love towards Me. My Little One, you know the state of this wicked nation of the USA, that it is the harlot of the whole world! It is Sodom revisited. You see and you know the truth of things; for I have put you into the midst of My very fires, the all-consuming fires of My Little Son. You live there, My Little One, and you have lived amidst persecution and torture, which has been so great that anyone, who could really see and understand would shudder! In addition, the enemy has tried every kind of mind control on you, day after day, week after week, month after month; and now year after year. But, through it all, they have failed! However, they have succeeded in driving many away from you. For, they have seen the corruption in their hearts; and due to such corruption, the wicked ones have been able to easily mind control many of them by expanding the wicked thoughts of their hearts, and instilling in them further lies as well!

But, some few they have failed to control, even though the wicked ones have also victimized these and have sought to turn these against you. They have not succeeded because these are humble before Me! They desire righteousness! They truly love Me above all! Their hearts are right and in the right place before Me! Therefore, the repeated attempts of the enemy to turn them against you have failed. But, not so with many others!

My Little One, these wicked children of Satan and his many hoards have gone after many, abducting them from their homes, drugging them and mind controlling them, all without their knowledge or permission! Over and over again, they have done such things to your so-called friends and their assaults have worked over and over again! Therefore, many of your so-called friends have fallen by the way!

However, as I have just stated, the assaults of these wicked ones did not succeed against a few! A few have remained faithful! The evil attempts of the enemy would not work against them; for their hearts are right and clean before Me! When you look among your few friends, who have stayed the course with you, this is what you see! You see humble, obedient, little children, who love Me above all, and who truly love others. These few desire to please Me and to do My perfect will. They are part of My humble, little flock! But, how many are these, My Little One? Few, few indeed! These are the numbers!

Therefore, My Little One, through this observation, you can surely get a glimpse of just how many faithful, little ones I have in the whole world. These, who are your friends, have been stalked by the enemy; and many of them have been stalked through covert means, just as I have already mentioned. Yet, they are still your friends. I have been busy trying them all; for I have also allowed all of the trials, which have come upon them. However, My Blessed Child, most in the world have not suffered what these few have suffered. I have not put them through such tests to test their faithfulness.

Do you see why I cannot now take My Bride off this planet? They are not ready! Through so many warnings of My imminent coming, I have laid tests before My Bride to see if she would come to Me with a broken heart and with a contrite spirit, so that I could wash and bathe her through her own tears. I laid the tests out when I told over and over again that My coming was at hand! Yet, My Bride overwhelmingly failed My tests.

Instead of coming before Me with a broken heart and with a contrite spirit; they raised their filthy hands before me; they flashed their soiled robes in My face and they overwhelmingly said, ‘Here I am, Lord! Come for Me! Marry Me!’

Yes, this is so! This is what they have done! Yes, indeed! Therefore, My Little One, I am bringing forth a time of pleading with My people, pleading amidst severe and harsh judgments! My Bride will not come in tears and on bended knees in deep repentance! Therefore, I will put her on bended knees, even in the midst of great travail. However, I will not unleash such suffering and travail upon My people without also pouring out a great measure of My grace, My love, My mercy and power!

My Little Manchild, who has lived in you for over forty-two months, must soon be known to the whole world. He must soon take his place in the Sons of God, who are ready for Him. For, some of these are ready! Not all, but some!

A time of the manifesting of My great power must now enter into the Earth! For, Satan’s Kingdom is rampant! Its ugliness is roaring across the planet and he appears like a lean and hungry lion, seeking whom he can devour. My Little One, terrible things are taking place all over the earth and Satan’s Kingdom of great darkness rises quickly now to rule the whole earth.

Therefore, I will soon take My Little Son to My throne! He will receive great power and will thereafter go into some, who are ready to walk in such great power! He will go also into others, but with a lesser degree of power! Some will, therefore, walk in great power, as My Manifest Sons of God; and some will walk in a lesser power! These, who have My Little Son in them, the Manifest Sons of God, will also do great works and wonders among My people! Yet, Satan will hate them greatly and he will set out to make war against them.

My Little One, as you have often spoken regarding My written words in Revelation Chapter Twelve, Satan only persecutes you! (Rev 12:13) Yet, he tries to kill you daily! However, he will make war against these, who have My Little Son in them; and he will kill some of them! (Rev 12:17) Others, he will not be able to kill!

My Little One, during this time of great persecution, I will release a great amount of My power into the Earth! This release will take place through My Sons and will be for the salvation of the greatest numbers of souls! This must be! There must come a time for the trying of the Sons of God, a time for pleading for the rest of the people to repent, and a time for the salvation of the greatest numbers of souls. As I have told you, this must be!

I will severely try and test all, who receive My Little Son. What I require in the Sons of God is a walk of perfection, a walk of holiness! For, My Holy Son will be in them; and I will require such a walk before Me! Therefore, any sins, if not repented of immediately in the Sons of God, will be met with a sharp and quick judgment. These judgments can be so sharp, so hard, so fierce, so quick, that some of these will wish that they had never been born!

For, Satan will see and will monitor also every one of them; and any unrepentant sin, if not repented of immediately, will cause a release of the hoards of hell against that person! So great will be the suffering upon such a one, that if he or she does not repent, that same one may wish for death!

Yet, if this one will quickly repent, only a little punishment will come upon him, or her; and this little punishment will come about to get his or her attention and to cause a remembrance of such sins, thereby bringing about an avoidance of such behaviors in the future.

My Little One, this is black and white. There are no gray, or shady areas! The Little Manchild, who lives in the Sons of God is I! I am in these Sons of God and what many would have easily gotten away with previously, they will not get away with once they get the Little Manchild. For, if these Sons of God will not immediately repent of any and all sins, I will reduce the power in My Little Son in such offenders; and they will be left powerless in the face of armies of demonic hoards from hell. Great, great shall be their pain and suffering; and it will come immediately!

The walk of the Manifest Sons of God is strict, stricter than any walk that anyone in this earth has ever known. You know how it is, My Little One! You have lived amidst it! This walk requires a total surrender to Me, a total death to self, a total death to the world, and all of its traps; a total faith and trust in Me; a great fear and respect for Me; and, a great love for Me, which means to love Me above all! The walk of the Sons of God also requires a great concern for what I think and a great desire to do what is right, yet a lack of concern for what others think, and lack of concern for ‘pleasing’ others.

For, each one must know, each one must understand that I am the Author and Finisher of his, or her faith! Therefore, each must put Me first and obey Me in all things! I will not allow these to put others and other things before Me! To those Sons of God, who put people or things before Me and My work, I will give a sharp rebuke; and there shall follow an immediate decrease in My power to My Little Son, who is in them. My Little One, this is My Kingdom Come, My will be done in the earth, even as it is in Heaven!

After this time of the testing of trying of My Bride, and after this time of pouring out My Spirit and power in the Earth, I will bring forth a Great Harvest.

This first, small harvest of these, who appear before me, and who are sent back, would not be considered to be a harvest by some! Yet, it is a harvest, but very contrary to what people are looking for and expecting.

Yes, I am coming for My Bride, but I will first put her through the fires before she walks in her full power!

I have talked plainly! I have spoken clearly! I have said My piece! Now, go in peace, My Little One; for I will do for you and some others even as I have told you! So be of good cheer!

I am your Father Yahweh, yea Jehovah, Most High God!

As witnessed, dictated and recorded this 25th day of November, 2009,

Linda Newkirk

15 thoughts on “SEB Mailbag: “The Two Witnesses” edition.

  1. My!
    That would certainly make ME believe, if I were so inclined.
    I was especially impressed with the admonition to

    obey Me in all things!

    Tell me what I need to do. I am awaiting instructions. 🙂


  2. Phil Shneider? Really? They reference him? The guy who supposedly had 13 failed attempts on his life by a government supposedly competent enough to keep the biggest secret ever, but somehow can’t seem to kill one man until the 14th attempt?

    It is a novel approach to wrap God, Satan, government conspiracies and aliens in one big package. Hey, if you’re going to speak bullshit, why stop at the little stuff?

  3. very soon god will destroy islam to introduce me to the world as his witness.

    That should be “Allah,” not “God.” Don’t you know anything about Islam?



  4. I have found myself trapped in conversation with people whose thinking is that convoluted. Edging away, pursued…

  5. Are those two people the newly elect and absolutely handsome Herman Van Rompuy, President of the European Union and his tremendously gorgeous Secretary of State Baroness Catherine Ashton?
    Still two knights to find and the Apocalypse can commence!

  6. I’m sure if you showed excerpts of that e-mail to random Christians and told them that they are Bible verses that most of them would probably believe you. Would be an interesting experiment. I think many believers put faith in the Bible because it is their only exposure to strange, mystical language. It is so unusual and strange to them that they become convinced that it must have some other worldly origins. But probably a good number of half-literate crazy people could write you a long, rambling, prophetic message with mystical imagery that stacks up to any Bible book. Just look at the Qur’an..

  7. “Probably a good number of half-literate crazy people could write you a long, rambling, prophetic message with mystical imagery that stacks up to any Bible book.”

    Joseph Smith did a pretty decent job of it.

  8. Linda really is the woman of Revelation 12. She is a really Holy Woman of God. One of the Two Witnesses is Elijah the Prophet. Linda is not one of the two witnesses however. The bible says the witnesses are 2 Prophets and a Female is called a Prophetess. Elijah the Prophet is one of the witnesses. By the way you all are funny people. King Jesus created some entertaining non believing HOES when He made you all. Hahahaha. Listen Linda is Revelation 12 but KING JESUS IS LORD OF THE EARTH AND SAVIOR. I AM WITNESS TO THAT FOREVERRRRRRR. The devil is a loser and Im a Holy Ghost Abuser baby.

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