SEB Mailbag: Conversations with a Dumbass - Teslar Watch edition.

Got the following email last night in regards to the entry I wrote awhile back about the captastic Teslar watch:

From: Allan “Sid” Sidney –
Subject: Teslar watch

Just a note from someone who has one and likes it.  I bought the watch for the esthetic reasons and because it is somewhat of a status symbol. I work hard for my money and I can afford to have a thousand dollar watch on my wrist and I don’t care if you don’t like it.
If it happens to have other benefits besides correct time all the better? You spend your extra money on a website,  I spend mine on watches.
I love this country

Here’s the reply I sent back:


    I give a fuck if you like the watch. Whether or not you feel the watch is worth the money doesn’t change the fact that the claims of the company are complete bullshit. When you have something substantial to offer in the way of a discussion then feel free to contact me again, but personal opinions on the watch are irrelevant to the point of my entry.

    Though this will make a great new post in my “Discussions with a Dumbass” series. Thanks for sending it along.


19 thoughts on “SEB Mailbag: Conversations with a Dumbass - Teslar Watch edition.

  1. Oh, hey, I spent a thousand dollars on this shit because it looks cute!

    Aww, please.

  2. Oh, hey, I spent a thousand dollars on this shit because it looks cute!

    Aww, please

    Isn’t that the premise of all high end watches?  It’s not as if they keep time any better than a $30 Timex.

  3. A thousand dollars doesn’t really get you all that high end of a watch. A Rolex, for example, goes for around four grand at the low end and they’re not exactly dressy at that level.

  4. Fools must be allergic to money, else why do they keep throwing it away?

  5. Fools must be allergic to money, else why do they keep throwing it away?

    That was just great!

    For the cell phone instantly killed the watch. What’s the point? I get instant accurate time from a satellite now.

    The last time I wore a watch was for an interview to look dressy. On the way to the interview I noticed the watch battery was done cause time was a few hours off and wasn’t moving. I figured it wasn’t a big deal, why would an interviewer ask me the time? Well I did get that question as the interviewer saw my watch and liked it. I said it was roughly 9:45 as that is what the watch stopped on. I got lucky as it was 9:50.

  6. Well my question is why would I want to carry a wristwatch just to tell the time? I already have a cell phone…

  7. i have a casio watch that i haven’t taken off in 11 year all though it says 9 years battery but its still sharp as hell , the last time i took it off i felt like some one has cut my hand lol.
    any way its stainless steel and very lose so it keep sliding on my hand causing no actual health issues, i wouldn’t trade it for a 1000 bucks.

  8. I recently went hunting for a new wrist watch.  I am an astronomer, so I tried to find one (digital or analog) that kept Sidereal time as well as Solar time.  This is useful for knowing what astronomical objects are currently visible.  I naively asked for a watch that kept sidereal time at a few watch shops, but they looked at me as if I were from another planet. 

    I decided to do a web search and I found the following *amazing* watch by Philippe Patek.  It has two faces and shows you the constellations that are currently visible on the ‘night side’, chimes on the hour, keeps track of the lunar day and moon phases, and much more.  It is the most complicated wrist watch ever built and you can get it for the low, low price of 1.7 million U.S. dollars!!! 

    This watch can even do things the Telsar Watch can only dream of…  It prevents the wearer from being abducted by sending out an inverse… um… Tachyon pulse that scares away aliens.  It also will completely prevent the wearer from dying, or your money back**

    ** Dead wearer must show up in person to collect refund.  Next-of-kin not eligible.

  9. Now THAT’s a watch! Though I have to admit that even if I could afford it the price is high enough that I’d probably give it a pass.

  10. I have an $80 Seiko.  it isn’t particularly accurate but it winds itself, is waterproof, comfortable, is easy to read in any light or no light, and has a nifty rotating bezel.  When they say the pizza is ready in 15 minutes, you spin the bezel around…

  11. I’m really hard on jewelry in general. I’ve shattered stones in rings and generally left a wreckage of metal that I’ve had to cut off my flesh so much that I really just don’t bother. Maybe one day I’ll invest in something ridiculously platinum that all my malicious arm-waving can’t violate and that won’t have some sort of weak spot my inner calamity can’t exploit.

  12. Philip Stein watches are no longer equipped with Teslar Technology. If you are planning to buy a Philip Stein Teslar watch be sure you’re actually buying a watch with a teslar chip. Unfortunately, I didn’t know Philip Stein watches now use a different chip. The newer editions of Philip Stein “feel-good” watches are equipped with a “multi-frequency alloy.” No alloy maintains any type of charge, and even if it was programmed with these frequencies—there is no way to get it out. Having it positioned next to a battery source doesn’t do anything! I started doing research on the watch chips hoping to find that the new version is even better than Teslar—- WRONG! I was scammed. This is some information I found online:

    —“It is easy to tell as the fake is smooth and Teslar’s, with the nanos, is bumpy. If you do not feel the same when you get your watch back after repair, open the back and make sure you have a real chip (it is bumpy) and make sure your old chip has not been turned over. If it has, it will be discolored on the back. You have been charged $50 per chip for only flipping it over, and unfortunately you have been scammed.”—

    “PHILIP STEIN uses frequency-based technologies to restore and improve the natural flow in our bodies, which can often become disrupted by many of the pressures, stresses and disturbances in our modern society and environment. By incorporating technologies in the watches that replicate the Earth’s natural frequency, as well as other natural frequencies, many wearers report positive benefits and an overall improvement in their well-being.
    PHILIP STEIN currently utilizes two types of technology in our products.

    Single Frequency Technology (SFT), uses two chips that interact with the electric field of the battery and the magnetic field of the watch movement to create a frequency ranging from 7-9Hz.

    Multiple Frequency Technology (MFT), introduced in the PHILIP STEIN Prestige Collection, utilizes an alloy disk permanently programmed with multiple, natural well-being frequencies in addition to the 7-9Hz frequency. ”—

    —Single Frequency Technology? 7-8-9 that is 3 frequencies which are carried on the scalar signal. This means it is not frequency based and certainly not a “single frequency technology.”

    —Multiple Frequency Technology?

    1- What are the natural well-being frequencies? I would really love for Philip Stein to explain this one.

    2- An alloy disc permanently programmed with frequencies? Does alloy maintain any type of charge? NO!

    “They believed that matter and energy are two forms of the same substance. Matter that vibrates at a very slow frequency or resonance, is referred to as “physical matter.” Matter that vibrates at such a fast frequency that it becomes invisible to the eye, is known as “subtle matter” or “subtle energy.” The electrical impulses that travel through us, the frequencies of light, sound, or even radio and cell frequencies, are all considered subtle energy.”—

    There is no such thing as “subtle matter.”

    Can Philip Stein get away with this?

    I copied this from the website.  Have no idea if this is true… but I think it is a different component of Philip Stein and Teslar that is up for argumentation!  If this is true there will be many angry watch wearers!

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