The Top 10 Reasons Beer is better than Jesus.

The folks over at the Rational Responders website posted a list of 10 reasons why beer is better than Jesus.

10. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don’t force beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.
6. When you have beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured to death over his brand of beer.
4. You don’t have to wait 2,000 years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels can’t lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you have devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.

It’s just a shame that, much the like the person who submitted that to RR, I’m not a beer drinker…

10 thoughts on “The Top 10 Reasons Beer is better than Jesus.

  1. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.

    It just tells you to have sex you’ll regret later …

    Beer has never caused a major war.

    I’m not sure that’s true.

    When you have beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.

    But you may knock on people’s doors thinking they’re your own.

    Of course, the two are not necessarily incompatible, as Ben Franklin noted that, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”


  2. You don’t drink beer?!

    You realize that you have now forced all Canadians visiting your site to do so through a TOR server?

  3. Nope, I’m definitely not a beer drinker. It’s another one of those tastes, like smoking, that I’ve never been able to stand.

    If I’m going to drink, then I’m going to DRINK, dammit. Give me a Long Island Iced Tea or a White Russian or an Apple Pucker Fucker. Something with some flavor.

  4. Les- my religion is “in beero veritas”, but I won’t knock on your door in Michigan or in cyberspace proselytizing; if Beer wants you, She will let you know.

    The rational responders should know better about their point #1: their are of course groups to help stop addiction to Jesus too.  One of the most entertaining is Debunking Christianity.  To be fair and balanced, here’s a Christian blog that will help you get Jesus back in your life again (hehe).

  5. Zilch – Generally speaking things often seem to be adressed as a competition between sides that are polar-extremes of each other, one viewing entirely positive, the other entirely negative, and neither intending to seriously consider or seriously influence each other.

    I say to all involved, in order to make progress, both sides need to be reviewed by a neutral party willing to consider each point, without coming to an overall conclusion (must be open ended to allow further points to be made and thought about, continuing to give a chance to both sides, as SEB does). A fair, unconcluding neutral review is more likely to be read by those you’re trying to influence than something that plainly goes against their grain as if to provoke.

    I’m against conclusions because they often give what is percieved to be a non-neutral stance to the piece, they attempt to close the issue from further consideration, and try to tell people what to draw from it, which should be free in order to be appropriate

  6. I’ll take aged wine or scotch over beer, but realize, there is nothing more satisfying than an un-American beer. The taste can be just as good. Wow, I’m such a terrorist…  tongue laugh

  7. Beer was only good when very cold on a hot summer day when ironing for a family of five.  Of course you wouldn’t know that because you don’t iron.  But then neither do I anymore!

  8. As I recall, not sure as I didn’t make them myself, the recipe is along the lines of:

    – 1/2 oz Sour Apple Pucker schnapps
    – 1/2 oz Vodka

    It tastes somewhat like what you might imagine a liquid Jolly Rancher candy might taste like. Which makes it a dangerous drink if you’re a fan of that candy.

  9. i love being canadian smile everything on that list is true. and i can testify to it, seeing as i refresh my beer memory every weekend.

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