True Believers™ in Texas find Jesus on a stick.

No wait, that’s not right. It’s Jesus made of sticks. Or rather in some branches. Just take a look at the picture over on the right and then read this snippet from the news item:

CRYSTAL CITY — Consuelo Sanchez guided her 63-year-old mother, Olga, across the street, pointing to a tree near a fence line.

“That’s the arm,” she said, pointing to a branch yielding to the right. “That’s the other arm.

“See where it’s cut right there, that’s his head.”

The elder Sanchez nodded in agreement.

OK, as an example of pareidolia, this one is pretty pathetic. As is often the case, however, things look a little better in the dark where you can let your imagination kick in (though is it just me or does Jesus look like he has breasts in that night shot?). Even then it looks like Jesus has a flat-top crew cut as is actually doing some form of interpretive dance or something.

Meanwhile the nut casesTrue Believers™ in Texas think they’ve got something truly special in their tree:

“They say something like this doesn’t happen just anywhere,” the 38-year-old daughter said. “To me, it’s a sign.”

Bzzzt. Try again. Not only does this sort of nonsense happen just about anywhere, but one need only pay attention to the newspapers to find out that it happens pretty much all the damned time with all manner of various and sundry objects. Sometimes it even manages to look quite a bit like what we imagine Jesus or the Virgin Mary would look like if they were white hippies instead of dark skinned Jewish desert people.

Ah, but this tree is special because you need to believe to see Jesus in it:

“If you have faith, you see it,” said 44-year-old Lupe Granados, who traveled from nearby Big Wells to see the tree. “If you don’t, you don’t.”

Bzzzt. Strike two. I don’t have faith, but I can see it. I’m just not superstitious enough to chalk it up as some sort of miracle from a god that has nothing better to do with his time than go around placing hidden pictures of himself in random objects.

15 thoughts on “True Believers™ in Texas find Jesus on a stick.

  1. Does that night-time shot look like he’s got a hard-on or am I just grasping at stalks.  LOL

  2. any one else see them as worshiping a dryad, dear dear me i though the bible spoke out againts worshiping objects ?

  3. Symbolism doesn’t have meaning or point other than to get you thinking about something – has no effect on the validity of what JC said

    itdontmatter: It’s a hardon – but he is MAYBE 5”

    I could imagine some truebelievers of both genders attempting to use that when nobody’s around to stop them

  4. Sweet fucking hell, its good to be back!

    And what better way to come back to SEB than to see another example of christian stupidity.  It’s more likely to be the angered spirit of a woman burned by the christian horde seeking rightful blood vengeance than their savior.

    Let the assholes think their savior has wood, while those of us that fuck and mastuberate have that hard, all defining truth, hehehe.

    Wow im bored, nice seeing everyone again.

  5. You guys need to polish your glasses.  That’s not a penis, it’s a knothole!  Which, of course, is how I determined the image to be a false idol: Nowhere in the New Testament does it mention Jesus having a twat.  And even if it was just overlooked in the Bible, I’m sure He wouldn’t be flashing people like that.  The founder of a great religion doesn’t need to compete for the Paris Hilton/Britney Spears fanbase-most of those retards are two knuckles deep with Jesus from the get-go.

  6. my gods dick

    Was it circumcised.  After it was decided that christians didnt need to chop a bit off to prove their faith, did it grow back.

    Fact for today

    In Medieval Europe there were 14 foreskins of Jesus doing the rounds as holy relics.

    Make your own jokes up.

  7. my gods dick is bigger than your gods dick…

    I just put that in my quote book. LOL
    As Elwed said, ‘religions in a nutshell’.
    I’m wondering if it needed the qualification of monotheistic as polytheistic religions usually (always?) had a head honcho … whose dick was smaller than my god’s dick.
    Mmm. Now I’m wondering about polytheistic religions headed by The Goddess.
    Having a bigger twat doesn’t quite work, does it? wink

  8. Yet again, more ridiculous American views on a deity that doesn’t exist and a man who died 1800 years before their country was named! Get real folks. Your god doesn’t exist and when you die, that’s it. And if I’m wrong then either I’m in hell or I get to heaven because your god seems to like honest people (see ‘Bible, the’)

    I know all Americans are not insane….I know some very nice level headed ones 🙂

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