Improving “Star Wars” by substituting the word “pants” in some dialog.

Sometimes all it takes is a simple word substitution to turn a good line into a fantastic line. Sometimes that can be something as simple as the word “pants” inserted in place of some other minor word in a sentence. With that in mind some folks have come up with a list of 237 Star Wars lines improved by replacing a word with “Pants”. Here’s the top 15 ranked by popular vote:

  1. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
  2. You are unwise to lower your pants.
  3. The Force is strong in my pants.
  4. Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
  5. Your pants, you will not need them.
  6. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
  7. You came in those pants? You’re braver than I thought.
  8. Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s pants.
  9. In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering
  10. I think you just can’t bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.
  11. Pull up! All pants pull up!
  12. I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants!
  13. I’ve just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of our pants forever.
  14. Alderan is peaceful, we have no pants!
  15. These aren’t the pants you’re looking for.

See the link for the remaining 222.

Found via

5 thoughts on “Improving “Star Wars” by substituting the word “pants” in some dialog.

  1. Funny stuff, but I would lose my status as a citizen of Geekdom if I failed to point out the logical fallacy you made.  You started with the A Priori assumption that Star Wars could be improved.

  2. I might also point out that this need not be limited to Star Wars. It works well with other movies as well, such as the Matrix: “Why oh why didn’t I take the blue pants?”

  3. LotR-
    Ride to ruin and the worlds pants (Theoden)

    Pants of a Took (Gandalf)

    I am Isudure’s pants, not Isuldure (Aragorn)

    Your pants are sharper, Legolas, what do you see?
    105 Pants (Aragorn and Legolas)

    (Remember in Britain pants are the underwear, we have trousers on top)

    Any film will do

    Of all the pants in all the world (Bogart)

    You dirty pants (Cagney)(Before anybody says it, yes I know)

    Look at me, I’m King of the Pants (DiCaprio)

    And of course, Mel’s famous warcry

    Ye can take our lives, but ye cannae take oor pants!

  4. Dubya:
    Nobody has accused me of having worn pants.

    I tell people, let’s don’t fear the pants, let’s shape it.

    Churches all across the country are reaching out—synagogues, people from different faiths understand that it makes sense to help their parishioners realize the benefits of pants.

    I was not pleased that Hamas has refused to announce its desire to destroy pants.

    It seems like to me that if somebody is talking to pants, we want to know why.

    Laura and I’s spirits are uplifted any time we go to a school that’s working, because we understand the importance of pants in the future of our country.

    We know that democracies do not forment terror or invade their pants.

    I understand there’s a suspicion that we—we’re too pants conscience.

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