If I were the President of the US, I would…

… do what? That’s the question Theocrat poses in another thread. You think you’re so damned smart, you tell us how you’d solve the world’s problems if you were President.

Me? First I’d have to fulfill my campaign promise of a PS3 in every home. Then I’d sit down to figure out what abuses of power the previous administration put into place and how I could go about mitigating them. Get rid of the Department of Faith Based Initiatives for starters as it’s a clear violation of the Establishment Clause. After that I’d see what I could do about coming up with some form of National Healthcare that wouldn’t bankrupt the country. Probably try and tackle Welfare Reform too to eliminate that odd gap between being fully back on your feet and still being on Welfare where you can’t really afford to do either.

9 thoughts on “If I were the President of the US, I would…

  1. I’ll vote for you, Les, although I would make that a Mac in every home, just so that Jobs can duke it out with Gates for the title of “richest man on earth”.  About welfare reform- I’ve often wondered why the government couldn’t provide jobs for people, instead of just throwing money at them, as Roosevelt did with his “alphabet soup” agencies.  So far I’ve heard no convincing counterarguments, just namecalling- “creeping socialism” and such.

  2. With you Zilch on the jobs thing.  If you were President Les I would expect you would get rid of some of these ridiculous and redundant ‘Departments Of’ agencies that are spending money and accomplishing nothing but spending money and draining the already negative coffers of this Nation.  I would also expect you to stop the scare tactics that this government and the media feel are so important in keeping the gag on the mouths of the little man. I would expect you to find smart people to assist you in finding and plugging the loopholes that allow the oil industry, and other big businesses to charge what they want, send their jobs where they want, and generally undermine the ability of the people to live a decent life. I would expect you to straighten out this immigration mess quickly without giving up the method that had worked for years before this issue got out of hand.  But most importantly I would also expect you to be truthful, honest, and humane!

  3. Where to begin?  I would cripple the nation’s economy first off.  The Depression would look like a bad day in the stock market in comparison.  The purpose of course is not to be mean but to begin (and hopefully quickly) rebuild the national economy from the ground up.  The big corporations have to go.  Some of the chains may even have to become nationalized for a little while.  One way or another Wal-Mart and similar multinational corporations would be scourged.  When companies make a to be defined amount or percentage of profit, everything more than that would automatically go to the government to be redistributed at its will.  Big investments in finding alternative fuel sources would come out of the profits from oil sales because the entire energy industry would become nationalized.

    Iraq pullout would be immediate.  At least 50% of our international military bases would close.  I would decommission enough nuclear warheads so that we could only blow up 25% of the world.  Most of America’s military would go bye bye.  The Marines would pretty much be all that remained.  Enough of the Navy to sail them around and some Army Engineers to pick up after the Marines.  The Armed Forces would be given their balls back by making it tougher to be a part of the Armed Forces.  They’ve been accepting pretty much anyone since Vietnam.  Special Forces would still exist.  The idea would really be to have enough of a force just to be a deterrent, but to also exemplify the willingness to begin a new age of world peace.  CIA and FBI would be combined into one organization and there would be a lot of layoffs.  I couldn’t care less what people around the world are doing and especially at home.  Though we would keep tabs on known enemies and their friends.  Hopefully that list would become a lot smaller quickly.  Oh yeah, Peace Corps would get a huge budget boost a significant percentage of what was freed up from disbanning the military.

    We have a lot of grievances to make up for between us and Native American Tribes.  Recompensation would be sought for many broken treaties.  Generous portions of original tribal lands would be given back to the tribes.  And tribes would be granted true sovereignty and encouraged to become member states in the UN.  Many other forms of racial reconciliation would be sought out.

    The US would become more generous toward the needy in the world.  Seeing as we are a significant influence on the impoverished around the world already because of our greed and gluttony, relief for places like Bangladesh, Africa, India, etc. would become a high priority.  Sweatshop laborers would be recompensated for the unfair and inhumane treatment they’ve been put through.  The US would become heavily involved in the UN especially in issues relating to “world policing.”  It shouldn’t be up to us to stop genocide so we’re going to get the UN to fix Darfur yesterday.

    I know I’m forgetting more really important things.  Eh, on to domestic issues.

    The only press allowed to be represented at the White House are press without corporate sponsorship.  Independent media is important and will be given priority in every case.  Corporate sponsorship only compromises the quality of the news.  I would do more of the press conferences and honesty and integrity would truly become evident in my administration.  I would not fear talking about nearly any subject under the sun and answering any questions by the press.  Apologies would be free flowing and ignorance admitted.  As an extension of good will towards this goal I’ll declassify upwards of 90% of classified documents on things like Area 51, Roswell, the JFK assassination, etc.

    Education would be fixed (1) by getting a budget increase, (2) by giving the money directly to the schools on a per student basis, (3) philosophy would become a part of national high school curriculum (maybe with a slight extra emphasis on existentialism wink ), (4) language programs will be encouraged for more languages than the basic french, german and spanish, and (5) arts will be greatly encouraged.

    Arts will also be greatly encouraged on the rest of the domestic front as well by giving a hefty chunk to the National Endowment of the Arts and similar organizations.  I think I might even invite Banksy to pretty up the White House exterior.

    Congressmen and government staff would be given significant pay reductions.  I would lead by example and recommend a 75% cut of my own pay.  We don’t need that much money for all the time we waste just looking pretty for the press.

    Much more of foreign relations would be done personally.  I would like to meet with many of the world’s leaders and show my interest in who they are as individuals and not just as a power player.  I think a lot of strife between nations could be resolved if the leaders recognized each other as having families and hobbies, dreams and fears.  I might even invite a bunch of the world leaders to the White House lawn on my birthday for a big cookout.

    I’ll add more as I think of it.

  4. Mom, you’re not quite grasping the concept of this entry. You’re supposed to say what you would do if you were President.

    Though if I were President I’d be sure to listen closely to the advice of my mother. grin

    Theo, as always, your reply is… thought provoking. wink

  5. First, some kind of orbital habitation platform. Fast tracked, so I can move in and on to putting that nuclear arsenal to good use by scourging the earth with fire. Kick back and play some ps3 (WoW servers and players being slag) until my descendants (or possibly clones) can move back down and recommence research into galactic colonization at a more leisurely pace, united under one flag, or insignia of some sort(probably one of those radiation badges). Not having to worry about the chinese claiming this planet and the albanians claiming that one, and the whole mess turning into a bigger version of the current debacle would really be worth the billions of dead, no?

  6. Good Luck to all of you who would be president.

    It would be very difficult to affect any change without the cooperation of Congress.  George W. might be an idiot, but he’s managed to get control of the 2 houses with Republican Majorities not to mention bamboozal our self-imposed ignorant civilian masses.

  7. MrsSEB:
    It would be very difficult to affect any change without the cooperation of Congress.  George W. might be an idiot, but he’s managed to get control of the 2 houses with Republican Majorities not to mention bamboozal our self-imposed ignorant civilian masses.

    There are enough provisions for presidential powers and loopholes to jump through that the president can easily become a tyrant if he so chooses.  Bush isn’t too far from leaping entirely into the role.  If worse came to worse the President has the armed forces at his command and could put Congress under house arrest in the Capitol Building if he really wanted to. wink

    When I took Government in high school and we had to pass some sort of legislation in a class exercise.  I got put onto the executive branch and when we got fristrated with the legislative and judicial branches I suggested we call in the armed forces and put them under house arrest.  My group bought the idea and the teacher was horrified.  Luckily it wasn’t a graded exercise. grin

  8. I can’t say I know in great detail what the power struggles are in the US gov’t at this time (although I like to think I know more than most Canucks that’s really ahrd to say, too).

    I’d begin by outlawing the practice of gerrymandering to prevent redesigning of voting constituencies to remove seats from competition. I’d have to pay a bunch of people to enforce that and to have a committee set up to oversee the matter when it might become necessary.

    Clear out the voting machines as we know them, mandate laws that voting machines must contain 100% open-source technology and that changes must be made publicly. Restore the data trail (paper if it must be).

    I’d have to move onto seperating government and law enforcement again. It’s not that I’m a big fan of J. Edgar Hoover, but at least while he was stopping the government from interfering with his own shit, he was stopping the government from interfering with the FBI in general. I’d say the same for other investigative agencies in the public service.

    I suppose there’s more, but I just got up. All of it requires a good idea what kinds of power games are going on “up there” to actually, credibly enforce. Which, of course, I have little idea.

  9. I’d find as many ways as possible to abuse my newfound power to my own advantage because I already know this country’s boned.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.