Dave Barry’s 2005 Year in Review.

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It’s once again time for Dave Barry’s 2005 Year in Review wherein we get a fair and balanced look back at the big events of the last year.

In other show-business news, millions of middle-aged people without dates wet their Luke-Skywalker-model underpants with joy as they view the final installment of the beloved Star Wars series, “Star Wars: Episode MXCVII: Enough Already.” Fans hail it as the least tedious Star Wars in decades; many are stunned by the surprise ending, when it turns out that Darth Vader is actually Robert Blake.

Tom Cruise, seeking to counter the increasingly widespread view that he is an orbiting space module, jumps up and down on Oprah’s couch.

Elsewhere abroad, European Union leaders are stunned when the proposed EU constitution is overwhelmingly rejected by French voters, who apparently do not care for the Deodorant Clause. President Bush visits Russia for an important photo opportunity, after which he describes Russia as “a foreign country where they speak Russian,” an assertion that is immediately challenged by Congressional Democrats.

I’m a big Dave Barry fan and his year-end columns are always a favorite. This one is no exception.

3 thoughts on “Dave Barry’s 2005 Year in Review.”

  1. My favorite part: “In a strongly worded rebuttal, the Democratic leadership points out that, when you get right down to it, there IS no Democratic leadership.”

    The R’s are getting a free ride.

  2. My favorite:

    But by far the biggest story in August is Hurricane Katrina, a massive, deadly storm that thrashes Florida, then heads into the Gulf of Mexico. For decades, experts have been warning that such a storm, if it were to hit New Orleans, would devastate the city; now it becomes clear that this is exactly what is about to happen. For days, meteorologists are on television warning, dozens of times per hour, that Katrina will, in fact, hit New Orleans with devastating results. Armed with this advance knowledge, government officials at the local, state and federal levels are in a position to be totally, utterly shocked when Katrina—of all things—devastates New Orleans.

    Of course, it’s funny, and not funny, because it’s true.

  3. I like this bit:

    But the major issue facing our elected leaders in March clearly is not whether a bunch of overpaid athletes cheated. No, at a time when the nation is beset by serious problems in so many critical areas—including Iraq, terrorism, the economy, energy, education and health care—the issue that obsesses our elected leaders to the point of paralyzing government at the federal, state and local levels for weeks, is: Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube. This, unfortunately, is not a joke.

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