Getting Married

Just wanted to let you folks know that I’ve been really busy lately preparing for my marriage in August. ‘Tis why I’ve been absent (work and an addiction to Guild Wars aside) from posting here more regularly. It’s an exciting and scary time for me as I prepare to take the plunge, but I am happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I also feel more “grown-up” now than before *shudder*. Dammit, I want to be Peter Pan sometimes and stay a kid forever 😀

Any sound advice from you “married” folks would be greatly appreciated.

9 thoughts on “Getting Married

  1. I am not married and probably will never be….but I can still cheer for you and I have some advice for you.

    Enjoy every moment of it.

    Never forget that you have gotten what you have wished for and be happy about it. Not just for a while…but for a very long time.

    Congradulations !

  2. Congratulaions!

    A lot of people say that a marraige is just a piece of paper but I disagree. Dating is like renting month by month and a marriage is like a 30 year mortgage. In other words, it is about commitment. You already have the love.

    Now you have the chance to tell her and her familiy that you won’t leave her if she gets sick, if someone younger and prettier comes along, or if you just get plain old bored. That is a beautiful gift to give someone: that you will be their lifelong partner and support.

  3. Well Les I do wish you all the luck in the world.
    And speaking from a divorced point of view, Never Never Never take it(marriage) for granted.

    Good Luck and I am glad things are looking up for you.

  4. Congrats JynXeD!
      Yeah, there will be some times when you long, nostalgically for the days when you had less responsibility and were less ‘adult,’ but the benefits of marriage outweigh those moments, in my not so humble opinion.

      There’s also the intimacy factor.  When you’re married, you end up learning a LOT about the person you’re married to.  And you’re around them a LOT.  Far more than when you’re just dating.  You’ve just got to remember that there will be times when you (and your wife) need your own space.  And times when you irritate each other.  If you’re reasonable people, you’ll survive it.  I think one of the main reason people don’t survive marriage these days is because they have some fairly bizarre expectations—like it’s going to be that ‘falling in love’ feeling, eternally.

      In truth, it involves a lot of grunt work, too.

      It’s not being a good spouse that’s all that hard, I’ve found.  It’s being a decent roommate as well.  I mean, love and flowers is easy.  Washing the dishes when you get home from work, or paying the cable bill, now that’s the shit that makes people tense!

      So enjoy your wedding (and the honeymoon *snicker*), and make sure you take lots of pictures, and save copies of any vows you take, and have -somebody- running a video.  ‘Cause, at some point, you’ll want to look back at that, and get the warm fuzzies from it.  I’m always surprised how looking back at that stuff kind of ‘reminds’ me why I love my gal.

      So, again.  Congrats!  and don’t freak out if a few things go wrong during the ceremony/reception/whatever.  Things -always- go wrong, but the wedding itself can still be great, even with a few mishaps!

  5. I’m already married. I put up this guest post cause I was curious to see what everyone would have to say on it.

  6. Go ahead, TheJynXed. Brag about being able to marry the one you love. I don’t mind.
    Is this why they won’t let us marry; because we whine too much about not being able to? Figures!

    Congratulations, by the way.

  7. Remember the Six Magic Words, “I’m sorry dear, it’s my fault,” and you’ll live a long, happy married life. And don’t forget what Confucius said about the honeymoon: “First seven days of honyemoon make one whole week.” (need to say this out loud)  wink

  8. Seriously?

    This is one of my areas of professional expertise, so I’ll give you my very best advice:

    1. Treat each other with respect. Always. Even when you’re ready to strangle one another, bite your tongue, walk away, take a breath. No name calling, no trash-talking. You can’t take it back —ever. And once on the table, the trash has a way of increasing in intensity and eroding the relationship until there’s nothing left.

    2. Realize that whatever tasks you take (or have taken on) in this relationship, you own. Re-negotiation is extremely difficult.

    3. Always assume the best of your partner. The kinds of attributions we make about our partner’s bad behaviour are highly predictive of relationship decline and failure. Despite any apparent obvious to the contrary, assume that your partner loves you and wants the best for you. If they’ve behaved badly, try to figure out what went wrong without assuming your partner has intentionally gone out of their way to hurt you.

    People most often behave the way they do because of the particular circumstances they find themselves in.

    4. If you think your relationship might be in trouble, it is. Get help. Fast. Don’t wait until there’s nothing left to save.

    Above all, be kind to one another.

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