The Pope Problem

I’ve been hearing a lot about the pope on the news lately. I imagine all of you have too. The question is twofold; is the Pope going to die, and if so, who will take over?

People (mostly Cathies) say that it’s going to be an Italian person who will succeed PJP2. This sounds like a good idea for a poll: Who’s gonna be the next pope? As long as it’s not a southern Cathie, I don’t care. However, the media wants us to care. After all, America IS a Christian Nation.

At first this whole thing seemed like “He’s gonna die, too bad” but then CNN keeps covering every single little thing that he does. Pope blesses crowds from hospital, Pope may return to Vatican by Easter, Pope speaks in German, Italian, pope pope pope pope pope!!!

We need to submit ideas for a Super Pope, an ideal Pope who wouldn’t call Gay Marriages dangerous to society.

15 thoughts on “The Pope Problem

  1. I’m reminded of a news headline in Brasil when the Pope visited the Holy Land: “O Papa Pisa na Santa Terra” Now a little double entendre is in order here for those who speak both English and Portuguese. cheese The problem with finding a Super Pope is that all Popes are Super (that infallibility thing), so the real trick is to find someone that even a few people can feel he (a long time since we had a female Pope) appears to be infallible. This is also one of the reasons it took the church 400 years to forgive Gallileo of his heliocentric theory.

  2. Ahh, wouldn’t that be lovely? A pope who advocates modern ideas instead of medieval ones?

  3. People pick and choose to believe and follow what the things the Pope says, just like they pick and choose which verses of the Bible they want to believe and follow.  Pope is against birth control and sex education?  Well, those must be bad things!  Pope thinks gay marriage is evil?  Yeah, he’s got to be right!  Yay, Pope!  Right on, Pope!

    Pope says sports on Sunday should not be played on Sunday (which would include the Super Bowl) because it weakens the Christian discipleship (story) … (sound of crickets) …


  4. One of my favorite jokes:

    JP2 is praying one night, asking for guidance, and lo and behold, the candle on his dresser begins to glow brightly and a booming voice begins talking.

    God: John Paul, you have asked for guidance, and I am here to help you!

    JP2: Well, that’s cool. Where to begin. Okay, I’m really concerned about the church’s view on homosexuality. I’ve spent years telling everybody how evil it is. Is this going to change?

    God: Not while you are Pope.

    JP2: Well, that’s a relief. How about my position on birth control? I’ve gone to all sorts of third world countries, and told them it was evil. Is that going to change?

    God: Not while you are Pope.

    JP2: Cool! 2 for 2. How about my position on women? I’ve tried to enforce a traditional view of the role of women in the church. Is that going to change?

    God: Not while you are Pope.

    JP2: I’m so relieved. But wait, I know I’m old and sick. I don’t have long to live. Is the next pope going to be like me?

    God: Not while I am God.

  5. How about having el-Supredo Pope going Midevil on someone?  Isn’t there a WWE wrestler with that name?  Well, perhaps there should be.

  6. All I can say is, I don’t think he will be going to heaven. Remember Africa, how condoms have holes in and how they don’t stop the spread of HIV.

    I don’t think god will look favorably on someone with the blood of millions on his hands.

    Oh yeah, and by the way, he’s dead now. Can’t say I’m sorry for the bastard either.

  7. i think i should be pope…im not catholic yet but i will be.we need a woman pope.everything needs to stop being so damn sexist!

  8. I think people need to be working on a bit of a more realistic goal, namely a female president of the US.  We had our first female PM here in Canada years ago, you guys down south need to catch up.  That said, I think Jaime Ortega would be my ideal candidate for Pope.

  9. There was a special about JP2 last night here (in Austria) which was seemed pretty evenhanded, and reminded me of some of the good things he accomplished, which we shouldn’t forget.

    One- he was instrumental in the rise of Solidarnosc in Poland, and played an important role in the fall of the Iron Curtain.

    Two- he was Pope most open to other religions, visiting synagogues and mosques, inviting representatives of other religions to Rome, and apologizing for the role of the Catholic Church in pogroms.

    Three- he was brave, and a man of his convictions.  Many Christians (and atheists, for that matter) could learn something about forgiveness, if they saw the film of John Paul visiting his would-be assassin in prison and forgiving him.

    Of course, he was conservative, and also instrumental in fueling the mass exodus from the Church in Europe by toeing the historical Vatican line on such issues as female priests, celibacy, contraception, and his condemnation of Liberation Theology.  But these are problems of the Church; he might be faulted for not having done more to bring the Church into the modern world, but the standpoints existed before he took office.

    Let’s hope the next Pope continues the good works that John Paul II started, and also tackles the Vatican’s problems dealing with sex, sexism, and overpopulation, which undo much of the undeniable good works done by the Church.

  10. JP2: Well, that’s cool. Where to begin. Okay, I’m really concerned about the church’s view on homosexuality. I’ve spent years telling everybody how evil it is. Is this going to change?

    God: Not while you are Pope

    I dont think God is for gays since he destroyed sodom and gamora and in romans he says that homos will be killed. also the Bible says that Woman should not be the head of the church.

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