Man tries to convert lions to Jesus, gets bitten

MSNBC is reporting that a 46-year-old man in Taiwan “[lept] into a lion’s den at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity.”

“Jesus will save you!” shouted the 46-year-old man at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away.

“Come bite me!” he said with both hands raised, television footage showed.

This story leaves many things to question. How does one successfully convert an animal to a religion? Do Lions have other gods? Are they Pagans, Buddhists, Jews? Furthermore, if he converted them would they have gone to mass? Would they accept the Eucharist?

Unfortunately the lions had been fed earlier in the day, otherwise this man would have won a Darwin Award.

23 thoughts on “Man tries to convert lions to Jesus, gets bitten

  1. Oh dear!  rolleyes  The scarey part is now he will probably use the fact that he didn’t get eaten as proof that god was with him etc etc blah blah blah. Oh dear.

  2. No matter what happens, at least we know that we can always rely upon fundies to jump into enclosures with dangerous animals.

  3. Yeah, a really nice metaphor. Too bad the US electorate was apparently still too well-fed too, to notice all the bull…

    Ah, I guess I’m a just a wee bit bitter now…

  4. Bog, what a moron!

    I was once attacked by a common housecat.  In a little less than one second the 10-lb animal slashed and punctured my hand and arm.  It became badly infected and had to be treated with antibiotics for 2 weeks.

    I just can’t imagine taking on a lion. The fact that the man did not die is only proof that the lion did not want to kill him.

  5. Sheesh, no grammar award for me!  “It became badly infected…” refers to the wound, not the cat.  Though there is an old joke the the latter effect:

    “My daddy was tough.  One day, he got bit by a rattlesnake.  It was touch-and-go.  But after four days of agony and delirium, the snake finally died.”

  6. I saw this! It’s baffling, yet just nutty enough that it might have worked if Satan wouldn’t have possessed that lion!

  7. just nutty enough that it might have worked if Satan wouldn’t have possessed that lion!

    …and caused the lion to ignore him? Just to confuse the true believer,or what?

  8. decrepitoldfool:  I too was once attacked by my common house cat.  The emergency room doctors took a video of it – they said they’d never seen anything like it caused by a cat. 43 puncture wounds, too many scratches to count.  Infection.  Horrifying experience.

  9. Deep in his dementia, he probably thought he was a modern Daniel in the lion’s den.

    Going into a den of flesh eating wild things is such a beautiful story to some, that you can color, cut out, re-inact with scripts etc, this lesson of bravery and faith. Of course it helps if you’re 10 years old or younger, as that is the age range these Christian based activities are aimed at.

    Yep, teach them while they’re young that this is an admirable thing got do.

  10. decrepitoldfool:  HUGE shock, oh my yes.  I was shaking so badly I couldn’t stand up.  It all happened in less than a minute.  When a cat has its teeth and claws dug into you, you cannot get away from it.  I finally got to my cell phone, got the cat off me long enough to shut myself on the porch, and called 911.  Just as animal control arrived, my mom and then 6-year old daughter showed up. Poor Mom – I thought she was going to throw up.  We tried to hold it together for my daughter’s sake, but it wasn’t easy.

    Had to have the cat put to sleep.  My daughter is now 19, but she still thinks that Fuzzy got sent to live on a farm.  Didn’t have the heart to tell her that she bought the farm.

    Oh, and I still have a cat.

  11. Cindi—how awful!  Did you ever find out what caused your cat to do that?

    I’ve never seen that happen.  My ex was scratched reel gude by one of our cats once, but he asked for it:  he thought it would be a good idea to sneak up on him from behind while the cat was scared and spitting at the vaccuum cleaner.  Smooth move.

  12. GeekMom:  My best guess is that poor Fuzzy was suffering from post-partum (sp?) depression.  Her kitties were about 2 weeks old at the time – I had to take all 5 of them to work with me to bottle feed them, get up every two hours through the night to feed them.  Fortunately, didn’t lose any.

    Your ex – hmmmm.  Sounds like a pretty good reason for that.  rolleyes

  13. I saw this! It’s baffling, yet just nutty enough that it might have worked if Satan wouldn’t have possessed that lion!

    Years from now this will probably be rewritten as another Christian martyr being thrown to the lions.

  14. We have a great many dangerous beasts in the wilds of Texas; more than a few species of lethal snakes, spiders, scorpians, cougars, havelinas, fire ants, and housecats. On a side note, for those of you who haven’t ever seen or been bitten by a fire ant, trust me, its name is well-deserved… fire ants can kill. As for housecats, we lived in the country and had seven. Originally we had eleven but coyotes tend to thin their numbers after awhile. Anyway, as a testament to the violent nature of housecats let me tell you a tale of one of my favorites pets; Half-Pint. As the runt of the litter he has naturally given an ironic name, but little did we know he would soon grow to weigh almost twenty pounds and stand almost 10 inches high at the shoulder. He continued to be a loving house-cat until he discovered he could not only wound, but kill almost anything within the animal kingdom and within a two block radius. So, in an effort to stave off the killing of a great deal of birds, rabbits, a small dog(seriously), and several other harmless animals, we donated him to the crew of rig 14 at West-Tex drilling where he grew to be loved and admired by the deckhands after thouroughly hunting down and killing over 300 rattlesnakes at the drill-site. smile If a common house-cat can kill that many rattlesnakes, think of what it could do to a soft, fleshy arm or leg moving around the kitchen at night? There are three animals in my state which I fear, the havelina hog, tarantulas(we have thousands in the summer), and the determined house-cat/beast.

  15. Yeah, well, jumping into one’s home, proselytizing in their face just isn’t a nice thing to do.  Next time he should smear some A1 on his body and he’ll have that Darwin award wrapped up.

  16. Lions are carnivors and if the BAC (Born Again Christian) were filled with the HOLLY GHOST I think the lion would have been cheated. Good thing the lions weren’t hungry. wink

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.