- “Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.”—Homer Simpson
Such a week in sports.
It all started out with everyone getting upset because a white woman in a small towel offered sex to a black man in a large towel in the locker room before the Monday Night Football Game began.
The fights broke out everywhere.
On the basketball courts and in the basketball audience.
On college and pro football fields alike.
Now, look all you athletes and fans, we know that winning is indeed everything. But you can’t turn your sporting event into a WWWF Texas Cage Death Match. You can fire the coach for not winning. But you can’t punch out fans in the stands, or guys on the other team before the game begins.
And, sure, cheerleaders do everything but lap dance on the sidelines, but you can’t go getting hysterical when the races aren’t kept separate during barely humorous locker room skits before the game.
No matter how serious the games are, there are rules to follow.
Even the Gladiator Games had rules. And the Gladiator Games consisted of decapitations, animals eating humans, rape and orgy scenes, as well as nifty chariot races with each side shooting arrows at the other side.
But even Caligula instituted rules for Roman sporting events.
So, you highly overpaid spoiled athletes, you better start behaving yourselves.
As for the fans, generally speaking you’re not big or fast enough to fistfight with athletes. Drink your beer. Don’t waste it by throwing it around…