Seems like someone out there is always trying to tell me how to live my life, usually a Christian Fundamentalist, and at times it seems like everyone else feels they’re an expert about how I’m totally messing up my life and what I need to do to make it better. As you can imagine this can get to be annoying after awhile, but far be it for me to deny someone the simple joy of ordering me around. So to preserve my sanity while still giving the busy-bodies of the world the pleasure of determining my fate I’ve taken it upon myself to create a virtual me that I can give to you.
All you need to take control of my life is a copy of The Sims 2, the foresight and good judgment to lead me to success and happiness, and the following files:
The women’s t-shirt is optional because I’m, obviously, not a woman. As a bonus, though, the women’s t-shirt includes nipple bumps—just because I could.
Place the shirt packages in your My Documents/EA Games/The Sims 2/Downloads/ folder to use them. After downloading the virtual me you need only double click on the package and it’ll install me as a Sim type you can choose when making a new family. When creating me in your Sims game you’ll have the option of modifying the clothes I’m wearing and you’ll need to set my personality type and aspirations. For simplicity’s sake I’d recommend setting my personality to “Leo” and my aspirations to “Knowledge.” The only way that I could provide a pre-defined personality would be to package him up complete with a house and that makes for a much bigger file.
There you go. As long as you can live with the fact that this is more of an idealized version of me than a complete recreation (I’m actually several pounds heaver in real life) then you now have your own personal “Les Jenkins” to command about as you see fit. Help him to achieve his life-long dreams or seal him in a room with no exits and watch him slowly starve to death. Whatever floats your boat.