Where’s that damned stork? It’s been 8 years for crying out loud!

It’s hard to imagine that it’s possible to grow up anywhere in the world without at least a basic concept of what it takes to have children, but at least one German couple managed to pull it off.

Ananova – Childless couple told to try sex

Doctors subjected them to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile, and should have had no trouble conceiving.

A clinic spokesman said: “When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: “What do you mean?”.

“We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate.”

That must have been one very restrictive religious environment. The 36 year old man and his 30 year old wife are receiving instructions on the birds and the bees from their clinic. Meanwhile researchers are going to try and find out if there’s any other folks out there who are sitting around wondering where the hell those damned kids are supposed to come from.

9 thoughts on “Where’s that damned stork? It’s been 8 years for crying out loud!

  1. That’s just kind of sad. I understand religious people not talking about sex for pleasure but they don’t even discuss procreation? Crazy.

  2. Wow! so that’s why I have six kids.  And to think this whole time I thought it was just for recreation!

  3. Huh.  I’ve recently been forced to work in Germany off and on, and have also experienced a good number of Germans online.

    Trust me, there’s nothing astonishing about this.
    Imagine a nation filled with BennyHill enthusiasts mixed with xenophobic religious indoctrination with a big fat dollop of self-loathing.

    Other than that, they’re generous, fun to be around, and fairly hard workers (in need of nation-wide psychotherapy).

    Just my biased dollars worth.

    .rob adams (whose dad was German

  4. At the point where they have blank stares, I just hand them a porn tape and tell them to take it for homework.

  5. The sad thing is this poor couple probably thought god was punishing them in some way or they needed to pray harder.  I hope some parenting classes and social science classes are on the agenda before this couple has the opportunity to procreate.  On the upside, I’m sure this has taken their eight year marriage to a whole new level.

  6. Where in Germany did you work, Rob?  I’ve lived there myself, and actually experienced most Germans as a LOT more secular and less xenophobic than, oh, say, AMERICANS.

    But yeah, they have this incomprehensible love of slapstick. 

    The mother of one of my daughter’s preschool friends was one of TWENTY-TWO CHILDREN.  When I mentioned this to the mother of another friend, she said wryly, “They must not have known what was causing it.”

  7. I’m pretty sure the story is fake. The clinic listed does not seem to exist as far as I can find.

  8. I once remember reading a news article where this doctor was recounting his experience. He was saying that the couple came to him telling him they wanted to have kids and were doing it but were not successful. After examining the female, the doctor realised that her hymen was still intact.

  9. The story is only semi-true at the very best. It is based on an article in a medical journal from 2003 that says “In one couple, besides oligoasthenoteratozoospermia, psychogenic erectile dysfunction was also present so that sexual intercourse had never even been performed.” All the stuff about religion and sex education seems to have been inserted by The Mirror before Ananova took the story and misspelled the city of L

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