Professor Teilhard, who holds the Poindexter Chair of Physics at the University of Santa Fe’s Department of Extropian Studies, says that weblogging performs a harmless social function.
“Webloggers are born not made,” he said. “And shouldn’t be persecuted.” The activity could be a positive, group-bonding social function such as grooming, or simply a harmless way of passing the time, such as masturbation.
Microsoft has employed over 400 webloggers in the hope of producing the elusive breakthrough, but now the race is on to find a commercial use for the discovery. Or any sort of use. Teilhard’s breakthrough wasn’t achieved overnight, and by interpreting some phenomena too literally, his team was led down several blind alleys.
“We noticed the repeated occurance of the phrase ‘arse feed’ from one part of the sample,” said the Professor. “Almost every member of the sample mentioned it once, but some members of the sample seemed to talk about nothing else.”
“We began to look for patterns – who was ‘arse feeding’ who. Was the ‘arse feeding’ bi-directional? There seemed to be no standard way of ‘arse feeding’ in the group – in fact we counted at least nine.”
“It was only after some months that we concluded that what they were talking about was ‘RSS Feed’”.
“Teilhard’s breakthrough confirms that we are at the forefront of machine-human evolution,” said one. Pressed for details, he replied, “I don’t know what it means really. It’s just a meme I felt compelled to transmit.”
Thanks to Rob for sending me the link via email.