Embry Onik and the Foetones

I need your help. If you’re a budding song writer and are feeling particularly creative and/or silly and want to contribute to SEB in some way then we’d love to hear from you. Eric, our permanent SEB Guest Bastard, has come up with an idea for a Spongmonkey-esque Flash animation that I’ve been really excited about. The only problem is neither Eric nor I are songwriters. Not even lyric writers, really. So we have this great concept and not much we can do with it.

So what is the concept? Eric calls it Embry Onik and the Foetones and, as you can guess, it involves musical fetuses. You can see the concept art below. One idea for a song title I came up with was The Ballad of the Stupid Evil Bastard, but I have no idea where to go with it. If anyone would like to try their hand at this, however, I’d love to hear from you.

Click for a bigger pic!

Needless to say Eric’s an amazing artist so feel free to contact him if you’d like to commission some artwork from him. He’s especially good at caricatures in my opinion.

19 thoughts on “Embry Onik and the Foetones

  1. Well, I’d hate to think I’m being left out of the loop here. I’ll be submitting some lyrics shortly. They will surely involve the ultimate battle between good and evil, a dangerous Decalogue, false gods parading as the ONE TRUE GOD, angry, militant fetuses and maybe even David.

    Or maybe they’ll be about a boy and his dog named God and their efforts to free the world of Stupid Evil Bastards - I haven’t decided for certain yet.

    Great work so far Eric. I love that fetus and the name you gave him.

  2. I have a sometimes annoying habit of making up my own lyrics to songs I hear.  I’ll have to let my brain stew on it, but I may come up with something.

    I really need to write down my made up lyrics for “Ted Kennedy’s Car”, sung to the tune of The Wiggles’ “Big Red Car” (kids’ show, if you didn’t know - my daughter’s going to hate me when she gets older )

  3. SInce you’re not sogn writers, you might make the task half as hard by doing it Weird Al Yankovic style and use other’s music to put words to as Ragman has done. This might also might help to separate you from the RatherGood.com folks.

  4. okay do you want the ballad of seb to have something to do with fetuses……….or just a song that is sung by fetuses?

  5. Doesn’t have to be about fetuses, or anything else in particular. Brock whipped up a rough draft of a song and sent it to me via email. I’ll post it if he doesn’t mind. It was quite good I thought.

    The only preconceptions I had about the song was the title and that it would probably goofy/weird. Neither of those preconceptions are set in stone, however, and I’m open to suggestions. What the hell do you people think a group of singing fetuses would sing about?? Eric says he kinda envisions them doing barbershop quartet stuff if that gives anyone a spark to work with.

    I was half tempted to write Dan Reeder and ask him if we could use his song “Food and Pussy” (find an audio clip of it here), but I doubt he’d let us do so. That was one that came to mind as something these guys might sing about.

  6. Hey, I only sent you that to keep my foot in the door, Les. I’m afraid you’re going to farm out all the jobs and leave me forgotten. I had to send something. But it was quick and if I keep it it needs a lot of refining. I was trying too to see if I was anywhere near the concept you guys have in mind. But again, mostly I was just trying to say “I’m Mandy - fly me!”

    I can do better, really I can!

  7. Considering how good your “foot in the door” was I can’t wait to see what a serious effort produces. I’m looking forward to it though.

  8. Hmmm
    I was just wondering about this foetus song competition.

    Am I over-reacting to the fact that there is an anti-abortion undertone here? After all, given with the current administration’s opposition to abortion and their attempts to undermine it by treating the foetus as a separate being from the mother with its own personality under the Unborn Victims of Violence Act (UVVA). In short treating the fetus as a ‘little human being’ by giving it the human abilities such as being able to sing. Thereby allowing the redefinition of the 14 amendment which guarantee equal protection of the law to ‘persons.’ And if persons is defined to include a foetus it could set the stage for the reversal of Roe v Wade.

    Just wondering.

    PS: March for Women’s Lives is occuring in DC in a weeks time on the 25 of April.

  9. As a vehemently pro-choice pregnant woman, I found no anti-abortion undertones in it—it doesn’t seem to be the type of thing that pro-lifers go for (i.e. HUMOR).  But I’m sure women who have suffered miscarriages would feel differently about anything involving fetuses, and understandably so.

    I’m just worried about how I’m going to teach the little geekmite to SING whatever wins the competition …

  10. PS - I really don’t think that talking about fetuses or showing them as living beings makes you anti-abortion.  Let’s not let the right-wingers co-opt ALL pregnancy talk, for crying out loud.

  11. Puhleeeeze! I have always been pro-choice but as anyone who knows me personally can attest (Les, Hairboy, Minx) I have a real sick sense of humor. Minx has told me how disturbing it can be when I begin a sentence with “you know what would be funny?”. For example I was thinking about how to end the song and the first thought that came to me was the old Vaudeville image of dragging bad performers off the stage with a shepherd

  12. Eric, I volunteer for the public service announcement spot.  My darling hubby already makes mooing noises at me as it is.

  13. Alright, was just wondering.

    All I am saying is that what ever your position is, sometimes one can unknowingly help create messages that help the other side.

    Well you can be surprised, there are many pro-life people that adopt humor as a means to further their message, since they know that fire and damnation talk does not do anything to people who are not religious. An alternative to religious argument, the legal one is to simple focus on the points 1) that the fetus and the mommy are separate 2) fetus should be treated as a human being (so that it can fall under 14 amendment) Just think about it and remove the fact that just because one adopts a position not everything that you say or do may reflect it. Look at it through the legal issue (since ultimately that will decide the question) and the legal tactic of slowly chipping away at the foundation rather than making a huge immediate change.

  14. Ok, I did this to the Sesame Street theme song…

    Sweepin’ blind faith away
    On my way to where reason is

    Can you tell me how to get,
    How to get to SEB…

    Come debate
    Everything’s A-OK
    Our friend Les is there
    That’s where we meet

    Can you tell me how to get,
    How to get to SEB…

    It’s a logic carpet ride
    Every door will open wide
    To Jesus freaks like you—
    Open your eyes
    What a wonderful

    Sweepin’ blind faith away
    On my way to where reason is

    Can you tell me how to get,
    How to get to SEB…

    How to get to SEB…

    How to get to SEB…

  15. I love it! Funny and subversive at the same time. Considering the debate over how family-friendly SEB is not too long ago this seems oddly appropriate.

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