Hey Rocky!

Watch me pull a police state out of my hat…

Many of us (if not all) have seen the news footage of Saddam being checked for lice after being pulled from a “spider” hole. There have been computer animations showing us just how tiny this hole was and even more have we heard about how Saddam had three weapons and allowed himself to be captured without a shot fired. But while we were all mesmerized by the spectacle that is the news, do you remember being told that Bush signed parts of Patriot II into law?

On December 13, when U.S. forces captured Saddam Hussein, President George W. Bush not only celebrated with his national security team, but also pulled out his pen and signed into law a bill that grants the FBI sweeping new powers. A White House spokesperson explained the curious timing of the signing – on a Saturday – as “the President signs bills seven days a week.” But the last time Bush signed a bill into law on a Saturday happened more than a year ago – on a spending bill that the President needed to sign, to prevent shutting down the federal government the following Monday.

Okay, the fact that Bush was actually doing something other than golfing or fucking around at his ranch kind of shocked me, especially since it was a weekend but what better time to drop a turd into the punch bowl than when everyone is looking the other way. Nothing up my sleeve… PRESTO! Do you think that the words public and servant have ever flitted across this man’s radar for even an instant?

Well, here’s hoping the 2004 election will bring Democracy to the USA.

Oh yeah, and while I am thinking about it “spider hole” is a really fucking stupid way to describe what was essentially a bunker (albeit a minuscule and ineffective one). Why not a prairie dog hole? Maybe a snake hole. Considering Saddam was in it maybe even an Asshole would be apropos, but a spider hole is nonsensical.

To any newscaster out there: for the love of Pete, stop referring to it as a fucking spider hole!

Thank you.

25 thoughts on “Hey Rocky!

  1. i still hold out a crumb of hope that the next election will bring significant change…but another part of me thinks the whole election has been bought already, much like the previous one. i really don’t think he actually ‘won’ so much as had it handed to him.

  2. Hi there.  I have been enjoying the hell out of this site for a long time, so I’ve finally decided to post.  I thought you might find this article interesting as far as elections are concerned: 

    I’m sure I’ll be back!

  3. Great points Eric!
    Just an example of another of those disappearing web pages is a Yahoo Groups one called “daleel_almojahid.” The following is a portion of a post found there before it disappeared.
    After the humiliation of the Americans in Iraq and the near fall of their troops moral and the moral of their blind followers, an agency called Rayen code name D11 that works as a partner cooperation between the American intelligence and the agency of misinformation and the use of lies in the media and the homeland security, it came up with dynamic solutions to come out from the mess their in by performing a play that will lead the world to believe things that didn’t happen with out any one questioning its authenticity! The play was in parts:
    1- The visits of Rumsfeld to the troops in Iraq to boost their morality.
    2- The a surprise visit like a thief in the middle of the night [by Bush] for 2 hours only to the American troops to try and also boost their
    morality. But the fail of the 2nd part that brought back to the
    president bad feed backs made them go to the final stage avoiding rest of the stages.
    3- The last stage was the announcement of the capture of Saddam Hussein!
    The last part of this play was done by capturing Saddam look-a-like and taking him out of Iraq and making him go under 6 surgery’s to his face which shows so clear in the pictures that were given out, in his eyes and in his cheeks and to his noose and the rest of the face!
    The rest of the play was that they capture the so called Saddam in a very shameful situation and that’s exactly what happened but the producers of this movie have failed in the cover up thanks to god for that and we will tell you how:
    1- If you go back to the pictures of the so called place of capture try to notice the dates on the palm tree and also the excessive planting around it to cover up where these pictures were really taken in, the problem with the stupid producer is that he didn’t know that the dates that we all saw in the pictures are the dates of late summer!!! Not winter!!! And there is no way what so ever to find dates of this color at this time in Iraq! Unless these pictures were taken before 3-4 months! Ask any Arab and he will tell you!
    2- The looks on the American troops standing and smiling and showing them self’s in the pictures as if they know they are producing a movie!!
    3- Although the Americans have made 6 surgery operations on the look-alike of Saddam they totally forgot that saddam has a (shama) pimple like mark on his cheek!! Where is it fools!!!
    4- When taking the pictures for the so called Saddam look at the eyes doesn’t he look like some one not worried!! As if he is waiting for the pictures to be taken!! This is a really stupid production!!
    …We promise you a big surprise coming soon which was delayed due to the stupid play of bush and his wizards in the black house.

    Alaah akbaar and the victory are for the Iraqi resistance, the
    mojahideen and their Commanders.

    Al-Faroq Brigade
    Alaah akbaar
    One thing that sounded to me like a scripted response was when one of the soldiers who found Saddam said “Greetings from president Bush” Isn’t this exactly what any brave and victorious person would say to the conquered tyrant in a movie?

    Considering all the lookalikes Saddam himself has caused to be fashioned, is this possibility really so far fetched. Iraqis have been fooled by Saddam lookalikes for years, and they saw him in person frequently?
    Recently this story turned up:
    Saddam was held by Kurdish forces, drugged and left for US troops

    LONDON, (AFP) - Saddam Hussein (news - web sites) was captured by US troops only after he had been taken prisoner by Kurdish forces, drugged and abandoned ready for American soldiers to recover him, a British Sunday newspaper said.

    Saddam came into the hands of the Kurdish Patriotic Front after being betrayed to the group by a member of the al-Jabour tribe, whose daughter had been raped by Saddam’s son Uday, leading to a blood feud, reported the Sunday Express, which quoted an unnamed senior British military intelligence officer.
    The newspaper said the full story of events leading up to the ousted Iraqi president’s capture on December 13 near his hometown of Tikrit in northern Iraq (news - web sites), “exposes the version peddled by American spin doctors as incomplete”.
    A former Iraqi intelligence officer, whom the Express did not name, told the paper that Saddam was held prisoner by a leader of the Kurdish Patriotic Front, which fought alongside US forces during the Iraq war, until he negotiated a deal.
    The deal apparently involved the group gaining political advantage in the region.
    An unnamed Western intelligence source in the Middle East told the Express: “Saddam was not captured as a result of any American or British intelligence. We knew that someone would eventually take their revenge, it was just a matter of time.
    So does this negate the lookalike conspiracy? Not really and it does further the idea that the White House is fond of making movies. This may all be academic soon, though, as they won’t need to doctor evidence. They’ll be able to completely restrict our access to it.

  4. That looked like Saddam to me.  I think they actually caught him.  And as for the “dates” on the trees, I read a lot of conspiracy theories after 9/11 that blamed the whole thing on Israel.  I’d consider the two theories about equally plausible.

    I mean, how seriously can you take a guy who refers to the “Americans’ humiliation” in Iraq?  American soldiers are getting popped every day, but Americans in general aren’t too humiliated about it. . . pissed off, maybe.  Willing to turn a blind eye to the occasional shooting of an Iraqi citizen, probably.  Gettin’ ever stronger elbow muscles from ever more vigorous flag waving, you betcha.

    Humiliated?  Apparently the word doesn’t mean the same thing in Arabic.

    All that being said, I don’t think Saddam’s capture has *anything* to do with what’s going to ultimately happen in Iraq.  It’s good PR, but in terms of international relations, and the effort to establish a stable and democratic Iraqi state, it’s about as important as “Saving Private Lynch.”

    The fact that sections of Patriot Act II were signed into law with minimal media attention, however. . .

    that’s not a conspiracy *theory*—that’s just another palpable step back towards 1984.

  5. But I am still scratching my head trying to figure out what the fuck just happened to it.

    Yeah.  And you’re not alone, either.  In fact, I see more and more people scratching their heads every day.  Either revolution is immanent, or I should invest in Head and Shoulders stock.

  6. Ah the joys of “News Management”.
    I remember a senior advisor of Blair lost her job when somebody leaked her e-mail to the press.The mail was dated 11th of September
    2001 and suggested that it would be a “good opportunity to bury some bad news”.
    Same thing happened when the Queenmother died(different advisor though).
    So you are not alone in being screwed by totally callous politicians who are only in it to line their own and their friends pockets at the expense of the population at large.
    By the way I’ve recently heard that Tony “Insufferable Bastard” Blair is supposed to have had a jolly good chinwag with Bill Clinton (when still prez,of course) regarding a the acute threat posed by Saddam.Seems Bill wasn’t very interested,though.
    In the end I think Tony&George just played a carefully orchestrated Good Cop/Bad Cop routine with the rest of the world in order to divvy up the oil between their mates rather than let the french and russians have first dip.

  7. Considering that the British press has printed this stuff, too, about the earlier capture by Kurds, you have to truly wonder why we never hear this shit in the US from Jennings, Brokaw, or Rather.

    Saddam was drugged, that’s why he was compliant.

  8. Interesting that the discussiona of an entry about the signing of Patriot II being obscured by Saddam’s capture is itself being obscured by discussion of Saddam’s capture.

  9. Discussions are fine; it’s the first step toward action in a perfect world, and the more that can be exposed regarding the scope of events and the intricacies which provide a fuller exposition, will serve to educate and warn.
    Some are going beyond discussion to affect the immense apathy this nation represents.

    A JOINT MEMORIAL AFFIRMING CIVIL RIGHTS AND LIBERTIES; DECLARING OPPOSITION TO FEDERAL MEASURES THAT INFRINGE ON CIVIL LIBERTIES… the state of New Mexico is proud of its long and distinguished tradition of protecting the civil rights and liberties of its residents…the preservation of civil rights and liberties is essential to the well-being of a democratic society…federal, state and local governments should protect the public from terrorist attacks such as those that occurred on September 11, 2001 and should do so in a rational and deliberative fashion to ensure that a new security measure will enhance public safety without impairing constitutional rights or infringing on civil liberties …the house of representatives believes that there is no inherent conflict between national security and the preservation of liberty and that Americans can be both safe and free…federal policies adopted since September 11, 2001, including provisions in Public Law 107-56, known as the USA Patriot Act, and related executive orders, regulations and actions threaten fundamental rights and liberties…

    Some of the powers the Government is granted through the passage of Patriot Act II include:

    SECTION 201 of the second Patriot Act makes it a criminal act for any member of the government or any citizen to release any information concerning the incarceration or whereabouts of detainees. It also states that law enforcement does not even have to tell the press who they have arrested and they never have to release the names.

    SECTION 102 states clearly that any information gathering, regardless of whether or not those activities are illegal, can be considered to be clandestine intelligence activities for a foreign power. This makes news gathering illegal.

    SECTION 106 is bone chilling in its straight forwardness. It states that broad general warrants by the secret FSIA court (a panel of secret judges set up in a star chamber system that convenes in an undisclosed location) granted under the first Patriot Act are not good enough. It states that government agents must be given immunity for carrying out searches with no prior court approval. This section throws out the entire Fourth Amendment against unreasonable searches and seizures.

    SECTION 122 restates the government’s newly announced power of “surveillance without a court order.”

    SECTION 123 restates that the government no longer needs warrants and that the investigations can be a giant dragnet-style sweep described in press reports about the Total Information Awareness Network. One passage reads, “thus the focus of domestic surveillance may be less precise than that directed against more conventional types of crime.”

    SECTION 128 allows the Federal government to place gag orders on Federal and State Grand Juries and to take over the proceedings. It also disallows individuals or organizations to even try to quash a Federal subpoena. So now defending yourself will be a terrorist action.

    SECTION 311 federalizes your local police department in the area of information sharing.

    SECTION 408 creates “lifetime parole” (basically, slavery) for a whole host of crimes.

    “I have produced two documentary films and written a book about what really happened on September 11th. The bottom line is this: the military-industrial complex carried the attacks out as a pretext for control. Anyone who doubts this just hasn’t looked at the mountains of hard evidence.”
    Alex Jones

    Unlike USA Patriot Act, USA Patriot Act II has no provisions that “sunset” (become unenforceable) after a certain time. All of its changes are permanent.

    Unfortunately, some will avoid discussion, some will discuss it as though it is the latest weather condition; which they can do nothing about, and some will make their concerns known to their senators and representatives. If you haven’t yet written lawmakers and voiced your opinion, please do so right away. If you don’t plan on doing anything to affect this historic situation then please shut the fuck up. You don’t care and hardly deserve anyone caring for you.
    For more information contact the Bill of Rights Defense Committee


  10. Well, so much for that post. I don’t get it. Why doesn’t the post look the same as the preview? Les, I hope you can, and don’t mind correcting this. Is there any way you could give us an edit option?

  11. Brock, I took a look at the code and it was pretty messed up. I fixed it to something that’s readable although possibly not what you had intended on doing. It didn’t match the preview as I’ve been lazy and not modified the preview template to match the rest of the site yet (I never really use it myself so I keep forgetting about it).

    Editing of comments isn’t possible right now, but MT 3.0 which is due soon will have a commenter registration system in it that may make it possible in the future.

  12. Thanks Les, looks good. I’m not a HTML wiz but it seems that some techniques work differently on your site than they do on others. Then again it could all be my fault.

  13. In response to Nicholas Liu’s comment: the irony was not lost on me either, but apparently people would rather focus on the Saddam show than on the Patriot II. I have written all of my representatives numerous times regarding, among other things, my misgivings about the Patriot I and Patriot II. The Saddam saga is just more scripted flash in the lesser Bush’s war against people who threatened his dad.

    I mean who wants to slog through a long boring act written in legal-speak if Faux news has footage of a deloused dictator? It’s just our rights.

  14. I’d certainly be shooting off lots of letters right now myself, except I live in Singapore. Engaging in discussion is, as far as I can tell, the most I can do.

  15. If I lived in the US at this moment, I would be scared out of my wits. The US government, in passing the Patriot I and II, have removed US citizens from many of their constitutional rights. Yet, it is obvious (to some) that directly after 9/11 thousands of non-white US individuals suffered extreme persecution. I know Bush wants to go back to the good old times, but in my books, bringing back different laws and rights for different races only brought on extreme bloodshed and a need for change. What scares me most, living in Canada, is that there are so many Americans who simply turn a blind eye and sit back to watch their CNN and force-fed “facts” and “reasons” why they should support their extremely dim-witted president. Why isn’t he a JOKE to EVERYONE????
    Sorry if this is a rant from someone not living in the US, but it’s a fact that whatever the US does, considering their the largest empire in the world, effects everyone. Especially your neighbour to the north.

    An eye for an eye makes the world go blind.

  16. Heather, I don’t think you have to be from the U.S. to voice opinions on it, at least not on my blog. Feel free to chime in anytime you wish.

    Your comment seems to imply to me that you feel the only reason Bush isn’t considered a joke by everyone is that the American citizenry is largely being deceived by the media; that outlets such as CNN are willing partners in promoting the Bush administration’s agenda. Considering how often the administration (and Republicans in general) complain that the media has a bias against it I’m not sure I see how the news media can be seen as complicit.

    Truthfully, there are a lot of people who know exactly what the administration are up to and are quite happy about it. Certainly there are some folks out there who have bought into the spin being pushed by the administration, but I wouldn’t say that’s the case for the majority of Americans nor would I say that the media as a whole is actively trying to deceive the public in support of the administration. It’s possible some aspects of the media are as easily deceived as some Americans are while others actually do support the administration and others don’t. After all, the news media is made up of people with varying viewpoints and intelligence levels.

    It’s human nature to wonder aloud why other folks don’t seem to be able to see what is so painfully obvious to ourselves and we all do it from time to time, I know I’ve done it more than once here in my blog, but the truth is a bit more complex than that.

  17. Wow, that’s scary!  I was not fully aware of “USA Patriot Act II”‘s contents and implications!
    I think the last time a “democratically” elected Government passed legislation like this was Germany in 1933!

    Living in the UK I only have limited access to US media (except Newsweek International, to which I held a subscription for quite a number of years) but even I can hear the Republicans complaining of media-bias against them,I just cannot see any evidence of it. Is your national press biased and it is only the international versions which more or less completely follow the republican line?
    Or are the Republicans just whining because they know that they couldn’t stand up to any criticism?
    From over here it seems as if anybody who dares questioning Bush is immediately decried as “unamerican”! (Another tactic very popular in Nazi-Germany,“undeutsch” they called it)
    I am not trying to insult anybody nor am I saying that George W. is Hitler incarnate.All i am trying to say is that a democracy which restricts the individual freedom of its own citizens so easily and without an audible opposition stands somewhere near the top of a very dangerous and very slippery slope.

    “Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel” Samuel Johnson

  18. The Republican party shrieks “class warfare” when ever anyone dares to point out the unfairness of tax cuts for the rich or if we suggest that the money might be better spent on education, food banks, and homelessness. Class warfare? They haven’t seen true class warfare yet, but if they keep giving us a ‘let them eat cake’ attitude they just might. There is class warfare going on every day in this country and those of us that work for a living are losing it.

    Republicans on the far right end of the spectrum (or neo-cons) squeal like you stuck them with a hat pin if anything that sounds like criticism is leveled at them or their agenda. They bully, shout down, or ignore any opinion not in lockstep with their own and accuse liberals of eroding debate, turning it into a mud slinging contest but how would they know? It’s not like they listen.

    I am about as “un-American” as they come. I don’t buy little American flags to stick on my car or buy T-shirts with jingoistic expressions telling the world that “these colors don’t run”. I criticize my government when they deserve it and my ‘president’ when he needs it so in this administration I have become more politically active than ever before. If we still have a Democratic government then my dissent should not only be tolerated but encouraged and the truly unpatriotic among us are the ones that try to silence the voices we do not agree with.

    Bush isn’t smart enough to be Hitler incarnate, but he is clever (like a chimp) and has a lot of his father’s old crony’s in his cabinet propping him up. We will see what happens in a little under 10 months, I hope his replacement is less corrupt.

  19. Hitler wasn’t smart either, in fact he was lazy and quite stupid. He was a charismatic public speaker ,had massive support from industry and ,last but not least,he had Dr. Goebbels.
    This guy pretty much invented modern marketing, spin and the art of subtle propaganda. An evil genius if there ever was one:mass-manipulation,media management,sound-bites it’s all there.
    The really scary thing about Hitler is not that he was an evil bastard but that he could happen anywhere,anytime,given the right circumstances.
    So here is a little test:
    Is your country scared of outside forces?
    (other countries,other faiths or political systems)
    Can you instill,or is there already, fear of an internal enemy?
    (terrorist of any conviction will do)
    Is your population very patriotic?
    Are you prepared to abuse this?
    Is there any latent hatred you could stir up?
    Do you have good marketing (propaganda) men?
    Can you call up mobs to shout down other opinions?
    Would some of them be prepared to go further,much further?
    Would your population willingly swap their rights as individuals for “security” and the"good of the nation”?
    Can you control the massmedia?
    Would your people keep quiet or support you if you start interning individuals without trial or appeal because they are “security risks”?
    Is the Opposition weak and prone to infighting?
    Do they not take you seriously?

    If you answered YES to all of these Questions:
    CONGRATULATIONS! You can be Hitler! Your Country wants you!Your Country needs you! Your Country deserves YOU! (any gassing is purely optional and could be held against you should things go wrong)

    Joking aside I will watch developments with trepidation and hope (mostly gained from reading this site,it’s gotta be said)

  20. In keeping with my original posting Mark Fiore has a new animation on this subject. Go see it and look through his gallery, it’s some funny stuff.

    In response to Golix, here’s some quotes from Shrub to help put your mind at ease:

    1. It would be a heck of a lot easier to be a dictator than work in a democracy. (1996 - referenced in J.H. Hatfield’s “Fortunate Son”, when Dubya was governor of Texas)

    2. If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator. (Dec. 18, 2000 - shortly after his contentious victory in the Supreme Court that resulted in his becoming president)

    3. A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there’s no question about it. (July 26, 2001)

    Wait, did I say put your mind at ease? I meant put your teeth on edge.

  21. Since we know that Bush usually takes the easiest and/or most self-rewarding way out, it looks like he is well on his way to owning a shiny new dictatorship.
    Damn, I’ve got Bush on my brain so much these days, I typed “Bush” in the box where my name should go.

  22. Thanks Eric
    I don’t think “teeth on edge” was the right phrase either! “Bowels” and “release” is more to the point,as I only just now managed to unblock my toilet again!

  23. When “Saddam” was captured, his teeth were all crooked and not white.  In all the pictures of him before we attacked Iraq, his teeth were pearly white and all straight.  this is not Saddam.

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