A couple of people sent me this news item out of the U.K., but the first to hit my inbox was from Paul Street who apparently wants to remind folks that America doesn’t have a lock on crazy people doing stupid things. It seems a dumbass by the name of Lucas Tomas decided to jump into the lion exhibit at an Argentine zoo so he could become a big chew-toy for the captive animals.
“He jumped into the lion’s pen, and when the lions didn’t react, he took off his jacket and egged them on,” said Mr Rivolta. “It was an act of madness.”
He said the lions initially took no notice of their unexpected visitor – being used to the zookeepers – but the man persisted in teasing them.
Zoo officials eventually managed to tranquilise Quique, and Mr Tomas climbed out and was taken to hospital.
Fernandez Hospital’s chief medic, Juan Carlos Ramares, said the patient told the authorities he had been ordered by “voices from God” to enter the lion’s den.
The natural assumption is that Mr. Thomas is a loony, but that rules out the possibility that God may very well have instructed him in the manner he claims. I mean, I can’t prove that God didn’t tell him to jump into the lion’s den and by some people’s logic if I can’t prove God wasn’t involved then it’s best to assume he was.
That said it leaves one to wonder what God’s motivation might have been. Perhaps he felt sorry for the poor lions who have been cooped up in their exhibit for years with nary a gazelle to chase and so he set about ensuring that 22 years ago a child was born whose single purpose in life would be to serve as a giant chew toy. He is supposed to have some master plan for everyone, right? Perhaps he has a whole category of people labeled “CHEW TOYS” that he created specifically to amuse various zoo animals over the years. News stories of dumbasses getting chomped by animals at zoos seem to happen regularly enough to bear that line of thinking out.
Or perhaps he’s got a bit of nostalgia going for the days of Roman gladiators and the feeding of Christians to lions only he doesn’t want to use the really good Christians so he picked one who didn’t seem to be pulling his weight tithe-wise as of late or something. I mean who knows what his reasoning is what with him being God and all. Have you been keeping up with your donations to the your church lately?
Then again, maybe the guy is just a dumbass…