Have yourself a weird little Christmas.

Jon over at The World Wide Rant shares some of his more… idiosyncratic… memories of Christmases from his youth.

A Psychotic Christmas Memory or Six…

Tis the season of really odd memories. In my own family the Ghost of Christmas Pasts has bullet holes in his clothing and once tried to get a restraining order against us, but he still comes around once and a while albeit with 911 on speed dial.

There are some memories that I’ll never share because they’re too involved, but some of the weirder and more bite-sized are below. And because Christmas is the time of sharing and I’m certainly not the only person to grow up in a “Tennessee Williams Presents a Very Special Episode of MAMA’S FAMILY” household, please feel free to share some of your own.

My favorite is his recollections of one of his Aunts who combined her taxidermy collection with the holiday tradition of a Nativity scene to spectacular result.

If nothing else, it shows me just how normal my childhood actually was when we always thought we were kinda odd ourselves.

15 thoughts on “Have yourself a weird little Christmas.

  1. Oh… to be an atheist.  All the fun, joy, wonder, merriment and excitement of the holidays without the “hastle” of actually believing in anything outside yourselves and your own understanding.

    A true ‘atheist’ should be no more or less offended by Christmas music than they are by reggae, new age, Britney Spears or Marilyn Manson. To be atheist is to be completely devoid of any acknowledgement of a higher power. In fact, part of the responsibility of an atheist should be to prove the non-existence of God, since this is what they believe (as opposed to the agnostic who will at least concede the possibility of a God). Although most of their energy is generally focused on the Christian triune God, the atheist must learn to apply this anti-deity energy to all religions.

    So, all you atheists should really spend this time of year at home alone working on your disprove theory and let the Christians have their Christmas, the Jews have their Hanukkah, the African Americans have their Kwanza, the Pagans (witches) have their ‘Solstice’ (sun god celebration) and so on ad infinatum. If you’re an atheist at this time of year, you fit in best if you just sit down and STFU.

  2. Hmmm.  The above comment was intended for the “Christmas music and the atheist” thread. Oh well.

  3. To be atheist is to be completely devoid of any acknowledgement of a higher power. In fact, part of the responsibility of an atheist should be to prove the non-existence of God

    Anon, or Anan, or Ass, or however you want to spell your name—

    most atheists don’t give a damn whether there’s a god or not.  Most of us certainly don’t waste our time trying to prove a negative (although there are nutjobs in every segment of the population). 

    Most atheists are, instead, quite concerned with *living* well.  That means finding room for joy, love, family and giving in our lives—and trying not to waste too much time on people who are hopelessly bitter.  Christmas is one of the times of the year when people who are usually hopelessly fearful and bitter (particularly around Halloween), tend to “loosen up” and get with a program that I can sympathize with.

    If you want to slam on atheists, why not take it to the forum?  I’d be more than happy to waltz with you there.  But telling us that we should just sit down and STFU just isn’t going to work.  Christians (not all of em, but more than enough) have spent quite a lot of time trying to tell me what I *should* do, or make me feel unworthy of joy, or like I shouldn’t be allowed to sing or play, or be happy, because I am, after all, damned.

    I laughed at them when they told me.  And I’m laughing at you now!  You may WANT to keep Christmas all to yourself. . .  but I’m claiming it as mine. . .  I hope you’re not *too* offended by my atheistic presumption.

  4. So very brave of you to speak up and tell us atheists how we should behave and what our responsibilities as atheists are without bothering to leave a real email address. Let’s address your points just the same…

    Oh… to be an atheist.  All the fun, joy, wonder, merriment and excitement of the holidays without the “hastle

  5. :dance:

    Les the above response you gave is why I love you more and more each time I come here.

    I am just waiting for the day that the closed-mind have their heads closed in on them so tight it bursts!

  6. Brandi! I was wondering where you’d gotten to. I was beginning to worry you’d been abducted by Mild Bill whom we also haven’t seen around here lately.

    I meant no disrespect to Marilyn Manson fans, though I do agree he is very much an acquired taste.

  7. Hi! It’s so nice to be missed. Just been busy with those pesky paying clients. Looks like it’s slowing down now…the holidays are always slow for me. People just coast until they get their fresh budget infusions in January.

    No disrespect taken. I’m fully aware I’m in the minority being a Manson fan. Especially since I’m female…and 30. To look through my music collection you’d swear I was an angry 15 year old boy.

    I’m a child of the 80s metal. Metallica still makes my heart go pitter-patter.

  8. I think if you guys wanna believe that santa clause is a stupid evil basterd power to you but we all know that hes not. How about all the little kids who believe in the christmas and getting presents and the joy that the have stending time with there family.

    You should think about…….

  9. Les- nice explication of your position to anon- but haven’t you chid us for feeding the trolls?

  10. Hi its me again just like i stated and tony agreed christmas is a time to share with your family. Not everybody can see there family on a regular basies sometime they have to wait till christmas. Just think about how Happy you could make your sister, little brother, aunt, friend or grandparents if you spend that time of year with them. Im not saying to believe in christmas im saying to consider it for a change……..

    Until next time ME

  11. Zilch, I was younger then and more foolish. Com’on, that was way back in 2003 for crying out loud! Look how much I’ve grown and matured in the… uh… year since then!

    OK, I couldn’t resist. I was weak and I gave in to the flesh.

  12. Oh look, a doppelganger troll I forgot to respond to.

    April or whoever you are, does your Dad know you’re messing with his PC without his knowledge? At the very least you could try to change the writing style enough between fake comments so that it at least gives the appearance of being two different people rather than a single idiot trying to stir up trouble. This site tracks IP addresses and when I can see that two comments written in a similarly sad and pathetic style show up from the same IP with a matter of moments of each other, well, it’s not hard to deduce what’s going on.

    At a bare minimum you should actually look into what is being said before you spout off and reveal in the process the complete and utter moron you truly are. If you’re just looking for attention then go bug your Mom for awhile as she deserves that sort of torture from you seeing as she couldn’t be considerate enough to produce children with a functioning brain.

    Zilch, OK, maybe I haven’t progressed as much in the past year as I had thought.

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