I have decided it is time to turn over a new leaf in my life and make some sweeping changes. First I have renounced atheism as a philosophical standpoint and have become a member of the International Raelian Religion after a long night of soul-searching and heavy drinking. Out of all the religions in the world my extensive research has shown me that the Raelians are the only ones who have “gotten it right” and I am already making arrangements to ensure my own immortality by being cloned repeatedly to generate a stockpile of at least 30 frozen replicas of myself ready to have my consciousness transfered into their brain in the event of accident or onset of terminal disease. By my estimates I should be able to utilize these “backups” of myself to stretch my life span well into the next century assuming the mother ship doesn’t return first to take us all to heaven. Either way, I’ll be around to see it happen.
Secondly, I will be changing the name of this website from “Stupid Evil Bastard” to “Intelligent Virtuous Gentleman.” In light of my recent conversion from the evil of atheism I have come to realize the rather negative and critical nature of my website in it’s current form. In order to more effectively promote growth in my fellow human beings I will no longer taunt the willfully stupid nor grouse about the growing acceptance among the greater populace for pseudo-science and fundamentalist religions. Instead I will attempt to show these people the error of their ways only through the use of positive and uplifting statements reflecting my love for all of mankind and my enduring optimism that, together, we can all overcome our differences in belief and opinion through mutual understanding that can only be accomplished through unconditional love and constant positive reinforcement of their incredible worth as people. Only through boundless love and compassion can we hope to grow as a people and embrace each other in the oneness that we all so desperately desire deep-down inside our hearts. Evil acts are a result of negative energy and thoughts powered by the minds of countless wayward souls, but all Evil can be overcome once all minds think nothing but positive and loving thoughts.
I hope that all of you who visit this site find this change to be the incredibly wonderful and positive experience I know it will be! From now on it’ll be nothing but love and happiness wherever I go!