Man, that Ghost of Christmas Future can sure be one right bastard at times, can’t he? Yeah, I knew there was a reason I liked him. According to the folks at The Onion the GoCF has been busy taunting children with visions of PlayStation 5:
SOUTHFIELD, MI—Bored with scaring elderly misers, the Ghost of Christmas Future is spending the holiday season taunting modern children with visions of Christmas 2016’s hottest toy: the Sony PlayStation 5, a 2,048-bit console featuring a 45-Ghz trinary processor, CineReal graphics booster with 2-gig biotexturing, and an RSP connector for 360-degree online-immersion play.
“You know how kids area year is an eternity to them,” the wraithlike specter said Monday during a visit to the Southfield home of 13-year-old Josh Kuehn. “So just imagine showing them something they’ll have to wait 14 years for. Teasing them with a glimpse of the PS5 is the ultimate torture. They absolutely lose their minds. It’s like saying, ‘Hey, kid, you’ll be an old man before you ever get to touch this.’”
The Ghost of Christmas Future said he has visited more than 125,000 homes since Thanksgiving, offering children an agonizing sneak peek at what they cannot have for another decade and a half.
“I like to appear in the living room with a PS5 hooked up to 2016’s most popular TV, the 4’x8’ Hi-Def Sony Titania,” the Ghost said. “Then, I’ll say in my best spooky voice, ‘Jimmy! Behold what your kids will be playing while you’re slaving away at an office job to support them!’”
Go read the rest of the article for more details on his mean-spiritedness!