Michigan home to one of the SPAM Kings.

Michigan is home of one of the most hated men on the Internet: Spam King Alan Ralsky. Mike Wendland of the Detroit Free Press managed to land an interview with Ralsky and confirmed that the man really is as much of an asshole as you probably think he is.

“I’ll never quit,” said the 57-year-old master of spam. “I like what I do. This is the greatest business in the world.”

“There is no way this can be stopped,” Ralsky said. “It’s a perfectly legal business that has allowed anybody to compete with the Fortune 500 companies.”

From the interview it’s obvious that this prick doesn’t care whether or not anyone actually wants to receive the bulk mailings he sends out and won’t give up the job until someone actually follows through on one of the death threats they’ve made against him. Not that you can blame him, he’s just recently moved into a new $740,000 house paid for with his earnings from filling your email box up with his advertisements. Not content with merely bugging you via your email account, Ralsky has been talking with a couple of Romanian programmers who have a new form of spam that uses the built-in messaging system in the Window’s operating system to pop up ads whenever you’re connected to the Internet. Working hard on your tax returns? Too fucking bad. You’ll get his ad whether you like it or not.

“This is even better,” he said. “You don’t have to be on a Web site at all. You can just have your computer on, connected to the Internet, reading e-mail or just idling and, bam, this program detects your presence and up pops the message on your screen, past firewalls, past anti-spam programs, past anything.

“Isn’t technology great?”

Yes, it’s assholes like this that make America the wonderful place it is.

13 thoughts on “Michigan home to one of the SPAM Kings.

  1. What I can’t understand is why somebody out there with programming skills hasn’t written a program which tracks the spam back to its source then crashes that server. I’m sure there is a perfectly legal way to exploit the fallability of the server hardware by filling it’s drives up with nonsense, or causing it to read/write so much it’s performance becomes crippled. Any hackers out there up to the challenge?

  2. Ya know, at least the perfume-spraying gals at Marshall Fields KNOW they have a shite job, and that they annoy everyone, and have the decency to look slightly abashed about it.

    Who ENJOYS a job where they piss people the hell off constantly? I don’t care how much money he makes at it – he should be getting spat on everywhere he goes. Keep him away from me, I say.

    I’ve been getting bombed by those damned new pop-ups using the os messenger. And I’ll tell ya – pisses me OFF! 

    Eric – fabulous idea. The hacker who does that will become a national hero, I’m telling ya.

  3. I think he’s wrong on the new popups getting past firewalls. Most firewalls block all ports in and out unless you specifically OK opening them. Being behind a cable modem router, like I am, is much like being behind a firewall and I have yet to see one of those new popups show up on my PC.

    If you want to try out a firewall to block some of that crap go download ZoneAlarm and give it a whirl. They offer a free version and a pro version and for a lot of people the free version is more than adequate.

  4. I think he’s talking about the built-in Messenger service in Windows. This is not Microsoft Messenger, it’s an old PC-to-PC pop-up messenging system. I used to use the same thing on Novell to tell everyone to get off the network before shutting down the server.

    The problem here is that the network is the Internet, and there’s no central admin in control of who sends messages. And, of course, Microsoft leaves the messenger service turned ON by default, leaving it up to grandma to remember to go into Services on her new XP Home machine and turn if off. Yeah. Right.

  5. Yeah, the messenge service in Windows, and not MSN Messenger, is what he’s talking about. I still think the firewall software, if properly configured, will block those as well.

  6. I definitely get hit by those networking spam messages.  Every time I reboot my Windows 2000 machine at work, I get the “university diplomas” message.  I used to think it was MSN messenger until I realized that I no longer use the software or have it installed on my work computer.  It’s really annoying, too, because I can’t block the damn thing!

  7. you can turn it off, assuming you have admin privs on the machine. on win2k, you have to go to control panel > admin tools > services

    and disable messenger service

  8. I feel like finding his Email address and spamming the fuck out of his inbox and then some!!! Damn asshole!!! I think everyone should do the same!

  9. I get those pop up messages all the time at work.  I didn’t realize until now where they were coming from.  Hang the Romanians, and one Michiganian!

  10. fuking gay old prick do something with ur tiome besides sending that message service. u fuking fag is there a way to fix it! there better b. i dun want give u my email cause ill know what will fuking happen ‘spam king’.

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