Somedays the ADHD comes shining through.

That’s what my counselor likes to tell me, though he’s usually referring to Courtney when he mentions it. I had a day yesterday where my own ADHD came shining through and made life a bit of a struggle. In my case it was with my impulsivity. In the past I tended to be a lot less careful with my spending habits. If I saw something I wanted really badly and I had the money to buy it on hand, I did. Sometimes neglecting a bill or other obligation I might have had. I tend to get really excited about various video games, anime videos, collectibles, and gadgets and the more excited I am about something the harder it becomes to resist the impulse to snatch it up as soon as I see it. In the past I’ve rationalized this to myself with thoughts such as “Well, I can go with just eating Macaroni and Cheese for a couple of days.”

Can’t do that anymore because I have a family now. I’m not just affecting myself when I get impulsive and reminding myself of that usually keeps me in check. Recently I mentioned on here that Neverwinter Nights has gone gold. This game has been in development for over five years and I’ve been following it pretty closely the whole time. It’s easy to say that I’ve not been this excited about a particular video game in a long, long time. It’s supposed to hit store shelves sometime next week, but there was a rumor floating around yesterday that some Best Buy stores had gotten it in early.

Oooooooooo! The thought of getting a game that I and my buddies have been waiting five years for before anyone else suddenly flooded my head. How much fun would I have annoying my buddy Bill who had pre-ordered his copy on-line and probably wouldn’t see it until the end of next week if I could call him up and tell him how I was sharpening up my vorpal sword for a session in NWN. More so than the pure joy harassing a good friend, though, was the overwhelming desire to play this game I’ve dreamed about for five years. I wanted this game, badly. Those of you who are not gamers are thinking to yourselves, “Sheesh, get a life buddy! It’s just a GAME!” To which all I can say is: Everyone has their passions that they do stupid things for.

I stayed late at work and started calling stores. Best Buy in Dearborn, Best Buy in Westland, Best Buy in Novi, Best Buy in Ann Arbor. All the stores I could think of within a reasonable driving distance between work and home. Just this act of calling around raised my pulse and quickened my breath as my excitement continued to grow. The Novi store said they showed they had 18 of them in stock, but no one could locate where they were in the store. That was all I needed. I left work and started home heading straight to the Dearborn BB to stop and check it out. Half the clerks I spoke to had never even heard of the game so there was a chance they overlooked it on the display rack. I stopped at the Dearborn Best Buy, Dearborn CompUSA, Dearborn GameStop (which turned out to only sell console games), Stopped at the Westland Best Buy and the Westland Software Etc. All I could find was some promo boxes on display in the BB stores that you could take up front to pay $10 and pre-order the game. I finally concluded it was those boxes the Novi store was registering in their computer, not the actual game itself.

No one had it and weren’t likely to until Monday or Tuesday at the absolute earliest. It was crazy wishful thinking on my part to even bother calling the stores, let alone drive to them on the way home. It took me an hour and a half to get home from work as I went from place to place chasing a dream. And it is, after all, just a video game. I had settled down by the time I made it home and was able to reflect on how it’s been a long time since I last got that nuts about something. It’s a good thing no one had it because if the first couple of stores I stopped at actually did have it, I probably would’ve bought it even though I can’t really afford to at the moment. We’re getting Courtney ready to go to camp next week and as such money is tight, the game would’ve pushed us into the red. Usually when I slip into my gotta-have-it-now mode I can talk my way out of buying it before I get to the checkout line by reminding myself of my obligations. That wouldn’t have worked this time, it’s been too long a period of anticipation. It’s my ADHD shining through big time. To the point where it almost blinds me. Even now, the phone is within easy reach. That little voice is going “You never know, they could have it in stock today…

2 thoughts on “Somedays the ADHD comes shining through.

  1. I’m a recent reader here and I like what you have to say.  My 13 year old son is severely ADHD and I find your stories concerning your struggles with this most enjoyable.

    ~ Barb

  2. Barb, I’m happy to hear that as I sometimes wonder if anyone finds them interesting. I don’t write about my ADD as much as I’d like to, but I’m trying to come up with more to say about it. It’s a very misunderstood condition and the more people can learn about it the better things will be for those of us who have it as well as those folks who don’t. Understanding often makes troubles easier to bear for both parties.

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